Bheer mein tanhaai mein/ Pyas ki gehraai mein/ Dard mein ruswaai mein/ Mujhe tum yaad aaty ho/ Geet mein shehnaai mein/ Khwaab mein purwaai mein/ Dhup mein parchaai mein/ Mujhe tum yaad aate ho/ Teri chaahatein meri zindagi/ Tere pyar ko main bhula na saku/ Karu koshishen bhaly raat din/ Tere aks ko main mita na saku… /Kabhi khwaab mein socha na tha/ Jeena parega tujhe chore ky/ Bheer mein tanhaai mein/ Pyas ki gehraai mein/ Dard mein ruswaai mein/ Mujhe tum yaad aate ho/ Geet mein shehnaai mein/ Khwaab mein purwaai mein/ Dhup mein parchaai mein/ Mujhe tum yaad aate ho …….
Bhai ki tabiyat to Friday sy hi deteriorate hona shuru ho gai thi. He was sedated since many days. We consulted doctors for further advice & they said, pray for the quality of your dear one, that may enhance quantity... but keep praying!!! Bhai’s respiratory system was also perturbed. Me along with Nomi and Saqib, had installed all medical equipments to see him more around us- declaring it a “single room clinic”.
Us raat mujhay ajeeb ajeeb khayalaat anay lagay, and to hide my tears from Maryam, Zainab, Guria, mujhay jab bhi time milta may gate cross kar kay bahir road or kabhi park may aa jata. But I continued praying to Almighty all the times for a miracle!!!
Dard may bhi ye lab, Muskuraa Jatay hain
Beetay lamhay humain jab bhi yaad atay hain
Meanwhile, with the rapidly aggravating health of Moazzam Bhai, Nomi and me decided to call Ammi Abbu from Islamabad and to inform Bhabhi’s family members and to call them up- knowing well, it’s the time …?
After first surgery on December 2006, Moazzam Bhai stood up and overwhelmingly participated in life’s work. One day, he came to FBR for an official visit to Islamabad, and at night he said, ‘Yar subha tu meray naal chalna aay, Gujranwala- Bachiyaan nu kujh time day’. I said but I’ve to go to office but he refused to listen any of my excuse saying chadd yar, phone kar kay daas dena, menu kujh personal kam nay. Chall hun, subha 6 wajay da alarm laa day. And I did as suggested.
With listening the exact lyrics ‘Chal Melay Nu Chaliaay’ my heart is breaking from this whole missing thing. I’ve never loved someone like my dear bro- and it's just so damn sad. After two years, he's still in my head - makes things even harder. I just think about him all the time, just want to be with him. I want to be with him as he made me happy all the time and has borrowed me a lot to think over again and again. Here are the lyrics of song…
Hania ..orak jana e mar way Chal Melay Noo Chaliaay
Hania ..orak jana e mar way
Dooja maila Khaleel lagia
Mujhay aaj bhi yad hay, school days may jab bhi hum may say kisi ko Khansi ati or rat ko Moazzam bhai bhi ghar pay hotay to ‘Khansi’ chupaani iti hi mushkil hoti jitna - ISHQ or MUSHQ. Or hum store may ghus kar lock laga kar, khansi kar kay wapis aa jaya kartay. Aaj bhi may sochta hoon, khansi jaisi mamooli beemari or cancer jaisi deadly disease- wo to aik aik cheez jantay thay har beemari kay baray may or aksar doctors ko advice kiya kartay thay- ye sab phir kaisay ho gia? Or wo bhi with the blink of eye!
Multiple major surgeries, Biomap injections, Radiotherapy, (Radiation), Chemotherapy, coupled with father’s and relatives endless prayers- nothing worked.
On Saturday night, Nomi and me called Ammi, Abbu. On Sunday morning (January 13, 2008), Ammi, Abbu from Islamabad and Bhabhi’s brothers and sisters from Lahore, arrived at Income Tax Colony, Gujranwala. All day, they remained busy in inquiring the health but Nomi & me knowing the fact, kept on lying, yes, Masha Allah he is improving. On that morning, when Ammi Abbu reached and went to Moazzam Bhai’s room, Ammi started weeping while father started recited some wird (Durood). Soon after father finished off Durood sending in the air towards Bhai, he gathered some courage and said to me in a whisper, “Masha Allah- Aaj to Moazzam ki sehat behtar lag rahi hay or swelling bhi kam hay,” and I said with my head down, “… G G aisa hi hay”.
Shaam hotay hi bhabhi kay relatives wapis Lahore jana shuru ho gay. Rat ko Ammi, Abbu, Bhabhi ki aik sister Safia, Saqib, Nomi or may along with 3 bhatejis were at home. Rat ko bhabhi kay aik bhai Abbu ke hamrah Lahore ye kehtay huye gay kay “May medical clearance ka pata karwa kay, subha Insha Allah wapis aa jaoon ga." He left home around 10:00 or 10:30 pm.
Hum teeno nay (may, nomi or saqib) nay raat ko 3 parts may divide kar lia tha, to provide bhai ventilation (oxygen). Sab bachay, ammi, bhabhi ki sister so gay. Sab sy pehlay Saqib ki bari thi as an attendant. May or Nomi, meanwhile, kabhi Lahore, kabhi Gujranwala, or kabhi Islamabad kay doctors say consult karty rahay and all of them replied for having DUA instead DAWA.!!!
We (Nomi & me) were sitting in drawing room; in front of heater, and unanimously planned to make a repeated call to Dr. Mukarram in CMH Rawalpindi and Dr. Shaharyar in Mayo Hospital Lahore at the dawn of Sunday. All of a sudden, Bhabhi went to Bhai‘s room and found his eyes in terrible positioning. She informed us and we all pierce through the room. I know he was on his last breath. All of us tried our level best to inhale him but… the eyeballs contacts of me, nomi and Saqib says its over- all over. Baji Safia was the one who initiated the mourning… Nomi called the doctor without killing a second, and me with Saqib went to nearby clinic. It was freezing, and I was in T-shirt but I drenched all over with sweat. On the way, Saqib whispered, “Mahtab- its over, no need to go”- I know it was … but we kept on knocking the doors. And when we came back, doctor pronounced Moazzam Bhai dead. Ammi and all Bhatejis were sleeping in another room- sudden hue and cry made all of them woke. I hold the hands of Maryam and Zainab and carried them out of home. “What happened, Mahtab Chachu? Maryam asked, nothing Maryam, your papa was in hurry to meet God, I said with hiding my tears. “Hain, iska kia matlub hay, Mahtab Chachu,” asked Zainab. I asked, “Sardi nahi lag rahi aap dono ko”, “Papa ko kia hua hay’? Why Dadi ammi and mama are crying??? I was literally in snag what to say and what not… I lost the courage… I lost the words… because I don’t want to say your dad is no more dears!!! Bhabhi’s sister broke the news and called all relatives. She called father too, – who was just about to reach Lahore, It must have been a devastated news for him. I got my cell phone out of my pocket & called my sister Bushra back home at Islamabad (who whenever talked to me with dare consequences said bring Moazzam Bhai standing on his feet along you otherwise i will kill you) I called her and just told her … “Moazzam Bhai’s condition is severe, Dua karo yar,” She listened my murmuring voice silently, before she said any word.. I cut off the call… but I remember.. she was crying. Later, a quick words with doctor, revealed that Bhai never came out of malady, and we knew it- and we hide it like Bhai himself did.
Husn-e-yazdaan’ sy tujhay husn-e-butaan tak dekhoon
Dil gaya tha to ye ankhien bhi koi lay jata
Mein faqat aik hi tasweer -kahan tak dekhoon’.
For more, please click on the following links...http://mahtabbashir.blogspot.com/2008/03/in-memory-of-my-brother_06.html