Monday, January 11, 2010


By Mahtab Bashir

TWO YEARS AFTER (Monday, January 14, 2008, 1:17 am)
Bheer mein tanhaai mein/ Pyas ki gehraai mein/ Dard mein ruswaai mein/ Mujhe tum yaad aaty ho/ Geet mein shehnaai mein/ Khwaab mein purwaai mein/ Dhup mein parchaai mein/ Mujhe tum yaad aate ho/ Teri chaahatein meri zindagi/ Tere pyar ko main bhula na saku/ Karu koshishen bhaly raat din/ Tere aks ko main mita na saku… /Kabhi khwaab mein socha na tha/ Jeena parega tujhe chore ky/ Bheer mein tanhaai mein/ Pyas ki gehraai mein/ Dard mein ruswaai mein/ Mujhe tum yaad aate ho/ Geet mein shehnaai mein/ Khwaab mein purwaai mein/ Dhup mein parchaai mein/ Mujhe tum yaad aate ho …….

“HAPPY NEW YEAR” -perhaps is the only wish I hate to collect from people over the last couple of years. As the January approaches, my heart starts growing despondency in it- withering leaves all around the places adds insult to my injuries. Moazzam Bhai’s life’s leaf was the one that fall down in the same season.

Bhai ki tabiyat to Friday sy hi deteriorate hona shuru ho gai thi. He was sedated since many days. We consulted doctors for further advice & they said, pray for the
quality of your dear one, that may enhance quantity...
but keep praying!!! Bhai’s respiratory system was also perturbed. Me along with Nomi and Saqib, had installed all medical equipments to see him more around us- declaring it a “single room clinic”.

Us raat mujhay ajeeb ajeeb khayalaat anay lagay, and to hide my tears from Maryam, Zainab, Guria, mujhay jab bhi time milta may gate cross kar kay bahir road or kabhi park may aa jata. But I continued praying to Almighty all the times for a mi

Saturday night was the most troublesome, I remember while walking outside home with Nomi, we talked to each other- “There’s no more a good news for us that we go back home, and find Moazzam Bhai standing on his feet, greeting us with his trademark smile, and wit and admonishing us about our poor selection of attire and unpolished boots,” and… it didn’t happen.

Dard may bhi ye lab, Muskuraa Jatay hain
Beetay lamhay humain jab bhi yaad atay hain

Meanwhile, with the rapidly aggravating health of Moazzam Bhai, Nomi and me decided to call Ammi Abbu from Islamabad and to inform Bhabhi’s family members and to call them up- knowing well, it’s the time …?

After first surgery on December 2006, Moazzam Bhai stood up and overwhelmingly participated in life’s work. One day, he came to FBR for an official visit to Islamabad, and at night he said, ‘Yar subha tu meray naal chalna aay, Gujranwala- Bachiyaan nu ku
jh time day’. I said but I’ve to go to office but he refused to listen any of my excuse saying chadd yar, phone kar kay daas dena, menu kujh personal kam nay. Chall hun, subha 6 wajay da alarm laa day. And I did as suggested.

At morning, we started journey around 8:30 am. It was perhaps the only journey with Moazzam bhai whn I found him mystified, may be because of the disease he was fighting with -or may be the future of his family in his mind made him so. Otherwise, he was so vocal. Bhai gave me his cell phone and indicated to put it in dashboard, he refused to answer any call. However, after every 20 minutes, during driving, he pointed towards dashboard to give him cell phone. He unlocked it and watched the display picture of his youngest daughter Maryam and handed over to me to put it back with drops of tear in his eyes. And during our 3-3:30 hours drive, we both repeated the same act. Meanwhile, both of us listened the only song by Abrar-ul-Haq’s album ‘Nara sada Ishq Aay’, because it’s the only cassette available in the dashboard.

With passing of every five minutes, Bhai indicated me to rewind the song. Us wakt to may haqiqat taq na pohnch saka or na hi iss Sufiana kalam may chupi depth tak ja saka. It was a song full of tasawwuf and mystic poetry with a clear message- everything is mortal & death is the ultimate & sooner or later one felt sick of this worldly activities.

With listening the exact lyrics ‘Chal Melay Nu Chaliaay’ my heart is breaking from this whole missing thing. I’ve never loved someone like my dear bro- and it's just so damn sad. After two years, he's still in my head - makes things even harder. I just think about him all the time, just want to be with him. I want to be with him as he made me happy all the time and has borrowed me a lot to think over again and again. Here are the lyrics of song…

Hania ..orak jana e mar way Chal Melay Noo Chaliaay
Balia ... orak jana e mar way...Chal Melay Noo Chaliaay
Ailay phar kunjian way saanbh lay tijorian
Ailay phar kunjian way saanbh lay tijorian
khasman noo khanda e tera ghar way
chal melay noo chaliaay
Hania... orak jana e mar way
Chal melay noo chaliay

Pehla maila Aadam keeta
Malka sir sajday wich keeta
Pehla maila Aadam keeta
Malka sir sajday wich keeta
Tay Iblees gia wicho sirr way
Chal melay noo chaliaay
ania ..orak jana e mar way
Chal melay noo chaliay

Dooja maila Khaleel lagia
Zibha karan noo putar litaya
Dooja maila Khaleel lagia
Zibha karna noo putar litaya
Tay gia aap chaati utay char way
Chal melay noo chaliaay
Hania ..orak jana e mar way
Chal melay noo chaliay

Teeja maila raati hoya
Aan bohay tay Jibreel KhaloyaTeeja maila raati hoya
Aan bohay tay Jibreel Khaloya
Tay Sohna (pbuh) gia burraaq tay char way
Chal melay noo chaliaay
hania ..orak jana e mar way
Chal melay noo chaliay
Ailay phar kunjian way saanbh lay tijorian
Ailay phar kunjian way saanbh lay tijorian
khasman noo khanda e tera ghar way
Chal melay noo chaliaay
Hania... orak jana e mar way
Chal melay noo chaliay
Mujhay aaj bhi yad hay, school days may jab bhi hum may say kisi ko Khansi ati or rat ko Moazzam bhai bhi ghar pay hotay to ‘Khansi’ chupaani iti hi mushkil hoti jitna -
ISHQ or MUSHQ. Or hum store may ghus kar lock laga kar, khansi kar kay wapis aa jaya kartay. Aaj bhi may sochta hoon, khansi jaisi mamooli beemari or cancer jaisi deadly disease- wo to aik aik cheez jantay thay har beemari kay baray may or aksar doctors ko advice kiya kartay thay- ye sab phir kaisay ho gia? Or wo bhi with the blink of eye!

Multiple major surgeries, Biomap injections, Radiotherapy, (Radiation), Chemotherapy, coupled with father’s and relatives endless prayers- nothing worked.

On Saturday night, Nomi and me called Ammi, Abbu. On Sunday morning (January 13, 2008), Ammi, Abbu from Islamabad and Bhabhi’s brothers and sisters from Lahore,
arrived at Income Tax Colony, Gujranwala. All day, they remained busy in inquiring the health but Nomi & me knowing the fact, kept on lying, yes, Masha Allah he is improving. On that morning, when Ammi Abbu reached and went to Moazzam Bhai’s room, Ammi started weeping while father started recited some wird (Durood). Soon after father finished off Durood sending in the air towards Bhai, he gathered some courage and said to me in a whisper, “Masha Allah- Aaj to Moazzam ki sehat behtar lag rahi hay or swelling bhi kam hay,” and I said with my head down, “… G G aisa hi hay”.

Shaam hotay hi bhabhi kay relatives wapis Lahore jana shuru ho gay. Rat ko Ammi, Abbu, Bhabhi ki aik sister Safia, Saqib, Nomi or may along with 3 bhatejis were at home. Rat ko bhabhi kay aik bhai Abbu ke hamrah Lahore ye kehtay huye gay kay
“May medical clearance ka pata karwa kay, subha Insha Allah wapis aa jaoon ga."
He left home around 10:00 or 10:30 pm.

Hum teeno nay (may, nomi or saqib) nay raat ko 3 parts may divide kar lia tha, to provide bhai ventilation (oxygen). Sab bachay, ammi, bhabhi ki sister so gay. Sab sy pehlay Saqib ki bari thi as an attendant. May or Nomi, meanwhile, kabhi Lahore, kabhi Gujranwala, or kabhi Islamabad kay doctors say consult karty rahay and all of them replied for having DUA instead DAWA.!!!

We (Nomi & me) were sitting in drawing room; in front of heater, and unanimously planned to make a rep
eated call to Dr. Mukarram in CMH Rawalpindi and Dr. Shaharyar in Mayo Hospital Lahore at the dawn of Sunday. All of a sudden, Bhabhi went to Bhai‘s room and found his eyes in terrible positioning. She informed us and we all pierce through the room. I know he was on his last breath. All of us tried our level best to inhale him but… the eyeballs contacts of me, nomi and Saqib says its over- all over. Baji Safia was the one who initiated the mourning… Nomi called the doctor without killing a second, and me with Saqib went to nearby clinic. It was freezing, and I was in T-shirt but I drenched all over with sweat. On the way, Saqib whispered, “Mahtab- its over, no need to go”- I know it was … but we kept on knocking the doors. And when we came back, doctor pronounced Moazzam Bhai dead. Ammi and all Bhatejis were sleeping in another room- sudden hue and cry made all of them woke. I hold the hands of Maryam and Zainab and carried
them out of home. “What happened, Mahtab Chachu? Maryam asked, nothing Maryam, your papa was in hurry to meet God, I said with hiding my tears. “Hain, iska kia matlub hay, Mahtab Chachu,” asked Zainab. I asked, “Sardi nahi lag rahi aap dono ko”, “Papa ko kia hua hay’? Why Dadi ammi and mama are crying??? I was literally in snag what to say and what not… I lost the courage… I lost the words… because I don’t want to say your dad is no more dears!!! Bhabhi’s sister broke the news and called all relatives. She called father too, – who was just about to reach Lahore, It must have been a devastated news for him. I got my cell phone out of my pocket & called my sister Bushra back home at Islamabad (who whenever talked to me with dare consequences said bring Moazzam Bhai standing on his feet along you otherwise i will kill you) I called her and just told her … “Moazzam Bhai’s condition is severe, Dua karo yar,” She listened my murmuring voice silently, before she said any word.. I cut off the call… but I remember.. she was crying. Later, a quick words with doctor, revealed that Bhai never came out of malady, and we knew it- and we hide it like Bhai himself did.
Dear readers, please recite Fatiha and pray for Moazzam Bhai’s soul- That’s what only I need and that’s what all of you could do. Your prayers would help all my family members to smile back again!!! God bless you all. God bless Moazzam Bhai- (RIP).

Tujhay Kho kar bhi tujhay paoon’, jahan tak dekhoon
Husn-e-yazdaan’ sy tujhay husn-e-butaan tak dekhoon
Dil gaya tha to ye ankhien bhi koi lay jata
Mein faqat aik hi tasweer -kahan tak dekhoon’.



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shak594 said...

bhai g .miss you always .will miss you always .
ALLAH tumhain janat ul firdous main jagah aata karay .aamin .

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