Mahtab Bashir
Islamabad
+92 333 53 63 248
mahtabbashir@gmail.com
The United Nations has cracked the case behind the sudden halt of an escalator, right after none other than President Donald Trump stepped onto it. The culprit? Apparently, a videographer’s accidental push of a safety feature turned the escalator into a stationary monument.
During his speech to the world’s leaders on September 23, Trump took the incident in stride, quipping, “These are the two things I got from the United Nations: a bad escalator and a bad teleprompter,” eliciting chuckles from the assembly. Who knew international diplomacy could be so... escalator-ly amusing?
Meanwhile, White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt took a more serious tone, warning that if someone at the UN deliberately stopped the escalator to embarrass the President, they should be promptly fired and investigated. Because nothing says “diplomatic decorum” like a suspiciously halted escalator.
UN spokesperson Stéphane Dujarric explained that the escalator’s central processing unit had a built-in safety mechanism that kicked in when a comb step was triggered at the top, likely by Trump’s videographer, who was busy filming the President’s grand entrance while moving backwards up the escalator. Apparently, in the quest for the perfect shot, the videographer accidentally pressed the “pause” button on safety.
As for the teleprompter troubles, Trump joked that whoever was operating it was “in big trouble,” though the UN clarified that the White House was using its own teleprompter, so perhaps the real culprit remains at large.
In the end, UN General Assembly President Annalena Baerbock assured everyone, “The UN teleprompters are working perfectly,” leaving the world to wonder if perhaps the real comedy was happening behind the scenes all along.
Trump Blames Pills, Science Blames the Script
A day earlier, President Trump and Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. took the stage to deliver a blockbuster announcement that left the medical community scratching their heads, and the public wondering if they had accidentally tuned into a parody.
Video Courtesy BBC
The duo declared that paracetamol, the humble over-the-counter hero known as Tylenol, might be secretly plotting to cause autism when used during pregnancy. Yes, you read that right. The medication, which has been safely trusted by millions for decades, was suddenly cast as a villain in a drama with no script, no evidence, and certainly no scientific backing.
During a White House press conference that felt more like a stand-up routine, President Trump urged pregnant women to “fight like hell not to take” Tylenol, unless, of course, they’re battling a very high fever. His advice, candidly admitted to be based on personal opinion rather than science, was followed by a swift directive to the FDA to slap warning labels on the drug, warning of a supposed link that experts say doesn’t exist.
Adding fuel to the fire, the administration announced plans to fast-track approval for leucovorin as an autism treatment, despite limited evidence, because who needs facts when you have bold claims? The president also threw in unverified assertions about vaccines and autism, turning the press conference into a veritable carnival of conjecture.
The scientific community responded with the speed of a well-oiled machine, condemning the statements as “irresponsible” and “dangerous.” Major organizations, including the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, reminded everyone that Tylenol remains the safest pain relief for pregnant women, emphasizing that untreated fevers can be more harmful than a hypothetical autism risk.
Experts pointed out that while some observational studies have flirted with the idea of a link, they don’t prove causation, kind of like saying eating ice cream causes rain because they both happen in summer. Larger, more rigorous studies have found no such connection, especially when considering other factors like parental neurodivergence.
The World Health Organization chimed in, urging caution and reminding everyone that science is a process, not a guessing game. Meanwhile, Kenvue, Tylenol’s manufacturer, issued a firm statement: “Sound science clearly shows that taking acetaminophen does not cause autism,” adding that the real danger lies in avoiding necessary treatment and risking dangerous fevers.
This episode highlights President Trump’s penchant for making sweeping statements that often outpace the facts, sometimes turning serious health topics into a comedy of errors. As the public navigates this whirlwind of claims, one thing remains clear: when it comes to science, it’s best to stick with the experts, and perhaps keep the Tylenol close, just in case.
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