GOODBYE KHALA SAFIA: ....... & it seems to me you lived your life like a candle in the wind

OBITUARY

BY MAHTAB BASHIR
ISLAMABAD
mahtabbashir@gmail.com
03335363248

She lived her life in a shell with the members including her all three daughters, a destitute husband, and a one-room house. While living her life as an insolvent lady- to whom nature never smiled upon quite often, as her husband was taken away couple of years ago, followed by her eldest daughter suffering with a deadly disease of cancer, she remained cool, calm and collected, perhaps that’s the only thinnest option she had. Being underprivileged, never swelled to her mind, as she was the darling of the massive family who could be found anywhere and everywhere- and executed all the customs and rituals our society created for us to do. Throughout her life, she suffered but survived and survived with dignity until she disappeared forever, to meet her creator today (April 20, 2010). She is my lovely Aunt- Khala Safia, the youngest of three sisters.

Living in Samanabad, Lahore, Khala Safia suffered severe cardiac arrest couple of days back and as the news traveled the distance from Lahore to Islamabad, Ammi got ready packing straightaway for Lahore, while other family members remained busy in life’s work. Khala however, recovered as we made her call the other day. I went to upstairs to get my office documents leaving for office and found Bushra (my sister) talking on phone to Khala. As soon as she saw me, she said, “Lo Mahtab a gia jay, Aiday naal gal karo,”… I was in hurry and told my sister in gestures to tell Khala he is disappeared and said he would talk to you in detail from his office. These two days went by rapidly and I forgot to make a few second call to Khala to enquire her health- & today when I heard this devastated news of her sad demise I have been refreshing my mind to find when I interacted Khala last time. Had I call her, I would have been a satisfied soul at least remembering her last voice but I was not honoured to listen her swansong even!!!

Now on while the tears are rolling down my cheeks and I am trying to hide from my office mates sitting beside me, I pray to Almighty, “May Khala’s beautiful soul rest in peace and glory and give fortification to her 3 daughters, and number of her dear ones.”

I would also like to dedicate few of special lines from Sir Elton John as Khala deserves these lines more than Marilyn Monroe or Princess Di.

Goodbye Khala Safia
May you ever grow in our hearts
You were the grace that placed itself
Where lives were torn apart
You called out to our ‘family’
And you whispered to those in pain
Now you belong to heaven
And the stars spell out your name

And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Never fading with the sunset
When the rain set in
And your footsteps will always fall here
Along England's greenest hills
Your candle's burned out long before
Your legend ever will

Loveliness we've lost
These empty days without your smile
This torch we'll always carry
For our family's golden child
And even though we try
The truth brings us to tears
All our words cannot express
The joy you brought us through the years

Goodbye Khala Safia
May you ever grow in our hearts
You were the grace that placed itself
Where lives were torn apart

Who'll miss the wings of your compassion
More than you'll ever know.

....... CONTINUED .......

THE NEW MEDIA: PITFALLS & POTENTIALS

By Zaair Hussain

The Pak Tea Houses of old may be gone, but online spaces have emerged in the void. Now as then, artists and intellectuals need not be legion to fulfil their service to their country; a drop of colour in a pail of water can go a long way

As the internet approaches adulthood, developing countries are asking themselves: where will the new media take us? What unbeaten paths will it reveal, what stubborn obstacles will it bridge, what darkness will it melt away? Of all the wonders that man has wrought, new media is unique; it rises not steadily but exponentially, a technological doubling and redoubling in shorter and shorter spans of time, a terrifying and exhilarating rush to an unknown singularity.

One of the greatest draws of the new media in underdeveloped countries is emotional rather than empirical: the imagery it evokes — of borders melting away before the glare of anonymous commonality, of the sum total of earth’s knowledge in the palm of anyone’s hand, of a gossamer web woven across mankind, knowledge and emotions sliding to and fro like dewdrops upon its silken threads — is frankly breathtaking.

But we overstate its grand promise at our peril. We are not South Korea, where high speed internet is as common as coffee mugs. Nor are we even like Iran, where sweeping literacy and home-grown translation fuelled the “Twitter revolution”.

Though the temptations are sinfully grand, aiming too high is the surest way to miss any viable target. The one laptop per child project, for example, promised to revolutionise education for the poor by making it joyful, interactive and dynamic. Its lustrous sails are immediately slashed, however, by poorly trained teachers and an inefficient governmental dispensation network. E-books could theoretically feed an exponential increase in reading with a free library at everyone’s fingertips, but what use would they be in the vast swathes of the country without basic literacy, let alone electricity and internet networks?

Writing for English publications in Pakistan, I find comfort in a soothing mirage: a constellation of hearts and minds touched, perhaps ennobled by my pen. For this article, I must set down this pretence (softly, so as to pick it up again later) and acknowledge that we address only the educated, the elite, the well-heeled minuscule minority. If Pakistan were a haystack, they could pass through the eye of a hidden needle.

Having said that, however, this minority is never mute, never insignificant. This tiny class of people has always been able to punch above their weight, and social media empowers them further. There are true boons that the new media grants Pakistan, and to overlook is no less a crime than to overestimate.

I will begin with the most prominent feature of new media: its freedom. In countries like ours, where censorship was long a given, recently a nightmare and not yet a distant memory, the online community is a reserve force of inestimable worth. The blogosphere exists, to quote the last (and certainly least) of the Indiana Jones’ movies, “in the space between spaces”. It is a lawless region, and lawlessness is the flipside of freedom. Its unassuming, quiet power was seen in Iran, when the mighty Council of Guardians was nearly brought low by an application boasting fewer characters than this sentence, a social network whose mascot looks for all the world like one of the bluebirds in Cinderella. In our own recent past, a dictator who locked down the very sky could not stop the signal.

If every Pakistani channel was snatched from the air tomorrow, new media would hold the line, not by clumping together like the Spartan 300, but by spreading its numbers to every corner of the world. The very intangibility of the internet renders it incredibly robust. The blogosphere would skip messages like stones across the vastness of oceans and continents, setting the world abuzz as it did in Pakistan, Lebanon and Iraq during times of crisis. YouTube would air images that no channel could carry, the drama and sincerity only enhanced by their raw amateurishness. New media has the power to stir the people, and shake the authorities.

New media is also a Godsend to the young creative forces of our country. Any film student or amateur photographer with a decent camera and a fresh idea can share their vision with the world. Any aspiring writer can find communities of peers across the world and trade writing samples. Our young artists and thinkers, our maestros in the making, can access far more exposure, community feedback and constructive critique than formal institutions in Pakistan typically afford. A world of vibrancy and versatility has opened up. The Pak Tea Houses of old may be gone, but online spaces have emerged in the void. Now as then, artists and intellectuals need not be legion to fulfil their service to their country; a drop of colour in a pail of water can go a long way.

Perhaps the most practical implementations of new media in developing countries, however, have been SMS to internet technologies.

In China, for example, a programme called Cool English incorporates SMS messages into its overarching goal of making English ‘fun’ to learn. Sierra Leone’s national election was monitored by 500 election observers at polling stations reporting any irregularities via SMS, a practice swiftly catching on worldwide thanks to a few innovative NGOs. The UmNyango Project in South Africa sets up rural women with free text messaging to report on domestic abuse, giving a voice to those who suffer for speaking openly. Local-language SMS projects in India and Bangladesh dispense healthcare information to expecting mothers.

In a country with more cell phones than scandals (and more scandals than grass), these technologies have an obvious practical potential and are already utilised in Pakistan’s private sector. A private news channel, for example, has a citizen journalism project that accepts updates on their website via SMS (text, picture or video).

Our immediate future lies with broadcast media, not the internet. But whereas the former allows us only to consume what is set before us (however broad the menu), the latter enables us to become chefs unto ourselves, to serve up what we have to offer to the world. Be it ultimately lauded or derided, that is a profound endowment.

Pakistan has in new media a tool and a resource that must be utilised. What we do not have, however, is a technological shortcut to a brave new world. We cannot avoid the unglamorous work of building centuries-old institutions — political, social, educational and economic. No tool can refine, sculpt or mould what is not there.

Zaair Hussain is a Lahore-based freelance writer. He can be reached at zaairhussain@gmail.com

Courtesy Daily Times April, 16, 2010

Pornographic magazine for the blind launched

A pornographic magazine for the blind has been launched - complete with explicit text and raised pictures of naked men and women.

The book, the brainchild of Lisa Murphy and called Tactile Minds, is designed to be 'enjoyed' by the blind and visually impaired - and is on sale for £150.

Among the 17 raised images include a naked woman in a 'disco pose', a woman with 'perfect breasts' and a 'male love robot'.

Canadian Lisa says that she made the book to fill a gap in the market, adding: "There are no books of tactile pictures of nudes for adults.

"We're breaking new ground. Playboy has an edition with Braille wording, but there are no pictures."

She said that she made the book after realising that the 'blind have been left out in a culture saturated with sexual images'.

Between 1970 and 1985 Playboy printed copies of its famous magazine in braille - but without raised pictures.

Courtesy Telegraph

SECRETS TO A LASTING RELATIONSHIPS

Yes, relationships do last for years. Are you wondering how? How is it that two people are together, are true to each other and are in love for decades? Here are a few tips ...

- Be honest, always: This is a basic need for any relationship to survive. You just have to trust your partner and let him/her believe that they can trust you.

- Accept your partner as he/she is: Yes no one is perfect. Some of us are sloppy. Some of us are perpetually late, some are just too obsessive compulsive about things. You should just accept the person for who they are.

- When you are wrong, admit it: Arguing that you are always right is not right at all. Be brave enough to admit you are not.

- Talk about your problems to your partner: Sit down with your partner and talk about anything that is bothering you. This will strengthen your relationship and bring you together.

- Be independently happy: Of course you love him/her. But you should not rely on your partner always for everything.

- Choose your arguments wisely: Yes, this holds in every relationship. Words can really hurt people and you should be very careful when you are arguing.

Courtesy ToI

FATHER at 74 says BANANA responsible

Gerry Burke has been reported to have become the oldest father in Great Britain, having fathered a boy at 74 with wife Dawn Burke who is 35.

The proud father attributes his love for bananas as responsible for his virility.

"I eat lots of bananas and always have done. Maybe that's what's kept my body healthy. But I think the love of a good woman, my Dawn, has a lot to do with it, too. I'm just doing what comes naturally," thesun.co.uk quoted him as saying.

Courtesy TOI

MALADY OF A CRIPPLING NATION

By Anum Raza Hasan

Structural flaws, leadership vacuum — the blame game knows no end. Self-reflection offers riveting counsel to overcome self-defeating phrases. Maybe one should stop relying on state authorities to show willingness for change. Perhaps change begins from within by paying testimony to the power and outreach of self-initiative.

Human development entails an earnest attribute of placing people at the heart of development. It presents the idea that perhaps people are entitled to realising their potential, increasing their choices and enjoying the freedom to lead lives they value. Because women comprise more than half of our human resources and are central to the social as well as economic wellbeing of societies, development goals cannot be fully reached without their participation. Women and development thus becomes a holistic concept wherein the goal of one cannot be achieved without the success of the other. But has Pakistan realised yet that ignoring 51 percent of its population — its women — and keeping them in oblivion will only debase its already crippled framework of existence and face of civil society capacity to survive, let alone progress? The gap between male and female literacy that ranks Pakistan 127th out of 130 countries surveyed last year by the Switzerland-based World Economic Forum forecasts an imminent disaster.

The report titled ‘Power Voice and Rights: A Turning Point for Gender Equality in Asia and Pacific Asia’ reveals almost half of the adult women in South Asia are illiterate, a higher proportion than in any other region in the world. It chronicles that Pakistani women’s participation in the labour force is less than 20.8 percent of the female population and in parliamentary representation, women hold only four percent of ministerial positions. Although the net primary school enrolment for girls is 57.3 percent, the secondary school enrolment is 25.8 percent with tertiary enrolment as low as 4.2 percent. Lifting the veil on gender discrimination in Pakistan as the world looks to the region for breakthroughs in marked development, to restore global economic growth and geo-strategic stability, one must finally wake up to half its people that may still be left out, to the disconfigured smokescreen — its women.

One of the notable advancements in the development debate had been the move to consider gender equality as a key element on its agenda. Disappointment over the trickle-down approach paved the way for the adoption of the basic needs strategy, which focused on increasing the participation in and benefits of the development process for the poor, while the women-in-development initiative recognised women’s needs and contributions to society. We must realise that development requires more than the creation of opportunities for people to earn sustainable livelihoods; it also requires the creation of a conducive environment for men and women to seize those opportunities. Development should translate into sustained improvements in the well being of the individual — men and women alike. Development implies not only more and better schools but also equal access to education for boys and girls and governments that give men and women equal voices in decision-making and policy implementation.

If one were to check Pakistan’s scorecard on gender sensitive literacy initiatives, this is how it would read. In 2003, the Punjab government with assistance from the World Bank implemented the “Girls’ Stipend Programme”, which provided a cash stipend of Rs 200 to families to ensure their daughters attend school. As a result girls’ enrolment in secondary schools in the 15 poorest districts in Punjab increased by 60 percent from 175,000 to 280,000 since 2003. This project was extended to include high school girls as well. During the past decade, several policy initiatives were undertaken, each with a strong component for improving girls’ education in the country such as the National Education Policy 1992 and 1998-2010, the Social Action Programme (SAP) in 1993/94, which focused on improving the social indicators for girls and women. The common provisions endorsed by all the policy initiatives included universal primary education for girls and additional funding for women’s literacy programmes. This may seem satisfactory; however; these could be a square peg in a round hole or simply insufficient for the structural problem remains largely unaddressed.

Barriers to girl child education require an integrated approach where poverty and household income of the family that affects parents’ choices to prioritise expenditure on the education of their children need to be tackled. Patriarchal structures of Pakistani society that assign men the dominant role and hence preference for sons’ education need to be challenged. Low status associated with women generally participating in income generating activities that are said to lead to neglect of their husbands, children and families needs to be rethought. Socialisation of girls that remains inferior to that of their male counterparts while growing up needs to be questioned. Gender-sensitive policies officially claimed to be the guiding principle — enshrining them in the millennium development goals which the government has signed — will not be enough. One needs a multi-pronged attack on the structural challenges of gender inequality for female literacy to be given a chance to flourish. It is while keeping this picture in mind that the government must set about improving educational facilities for girls. However, such an action would only be cosmetic unless accompanied by a strong effort to change existing mindsets that currently see women as unequal to men.

In a nation plagued by multiple ailments, be it the threat of terrorism or deprivation of basic supplements, each citizen has high stakes in making gender equality work. The structural repair cannot be managed without the support of men themselves as they should realise that educating and empowering their female counterparts would only elevate the positive returns from life and reduce misgivings. Notwithstanding the breakthrough with legal frameworks protecting women against harassment and domestic violence, the woman is again pegged as a victim rather than a free individual. Let’s not bury the pervasive need to liberate women from the restrictive jacket of narrow societal prejudices and emerge as agents of a change that spells equal opportunity.

Structural flaws, leadership vacuum — the blame game knows no end. Self-reflection offers riveting counsel to overcome self-defeating phrases. Maybe one should stop relying on state authorities to show willingness for change. Perhaps change begins from within by paying testimony to the power and outreach of self-initiative. May I suggest an inkling of reawakening to the dearest reader of conscience to extol options beyond pragmatism, to do whatever it takes but acknowledging, establishing and nurturing the female genre as critical to leave some sort of vestiges of ‘progress’ and equality our generation can process. Pakistan must not leave us behind because if it knew most maladies eventually prove unforgiving to the lives and existence of humans and nations alike.

Anum Raza Hasan is a freelance journalist and human rights activist with an academic specialisation in International Development. She can be reached at anumhasan@dailytimes.com.pk

Courtesy Daily Times, March 27, 2010

Fatima Bhutto charges 'uncle' Zardari, says my father's killers leading nation!

KARACHI: March 31 Former Pakistan President Zulfikar Ali Bhutto's grand daughter, Fatima Bhutto, has charged 'uncle' President Asif Ali Zardari for orchestrating the murder of her father, Mir Murtaza Bhutto, saying the killers of her father are 'ruling the country at present'.

Speaking during her book 'Songs of Blood and Sword' launch function, Fatima described in detail her father's murder, which took place 14 years ago.

Without taking Zardari's name, she said 'the man, who orchestrated the crime of killing her father, is presently leading the nation.'

"The streetlights went off and roads leading to 70 Clifton were blocked by heavy contingents of police who were waiting to kill my father," Fatima, a noted political commentator, said.

She said it was evident who killed her father, and added that those police officers who were arrested in connection with Murtaza Bhutto's murder case were set free later and were even awarded national medals.

"Some of them are travelling to foreign countries as dignitaries," The Nation quoted Fatima, as saying.

Fatima and her step-mother Ghinwa Bhutto have often hinted that they believe Benazir or her widower Asif Ali Zardari had a hand in the killing of her father Murtaza Bhutto.

Though Benazir made several warm references in her autobiography, 'Daughter of the East', to her niece, Fatima believes her aunt tried to split the Bhutto family.

Fatima, who already has two books to her credit, did her Master's degree at London's School of African and Oriental Studies. Instead of heading a debating society like her aunt at Oxford, she wrote her dissertation on the resistance movement to former president Ziaul Haq.

She published a book of poetry, 'Whispers of the Desert', at the age of 15, followed in 2006 by a collection of stories about the 2005 earthquake that killed 73,000 people in Pakistan.

-ANI

MIRZA- MALIK MARRIAGE: where did it all begin for them?

It’s an Indo-Pak love match that has created ripples on both sides of the border but no one seems to have a clue about just when and where did love blossom between Sania Mirza and Shoaib Malik. A day after shocking almost everyone, except family, by announcing that they will tie the knot in mid April, speculation continues as to where exactly the romance began.

Sources say the two first met in Australia in January where Sania had just crashed out of the Australian Open and Pakistan had suffered yet another embarrassing defeat at the hands of Ricky Ponting’s men. Not a trip to remember professionally but personally it was to be a life-changing one at least for Sania, who broke off her engagement with childhood friend Sohrab Mirza at the end of that month, citing incompatibility.

The break up was stunning because their lavish engagement just six months earlier was still fresh in everyone’s mind. Neither Sania nor her family gave the exact reasons for the split but given Monday’s announcement, speculation is rife that the 23-year-old Hyderabadi’s meeting with Shoaib may have contributed to the break up. Shoaib too had been luckless in love before meeting Sania and that incidentally also had a Hyderabad connection. The all-rounder was accused of marrying and dumping one Ayesha Siddiqui but Shoaib denied that, insisting that he was merely engaged to the said girl. Both seem to be controversy’s favourite child with Shoaib, a former captain of the Pakistan team, currently serving a one-year ban for indiscipline on the Australia tour and Sania battling a wrist injury besides warding off queries about just why she ended her engagement with Sohrab.

Sania’s career has veered off towards the uncertain after a breakthrough 2005. She rose to a career-high 27 in the WTA rankings in 2007 but poor form and never-ending injury battles have seen her slide to 92 currently. Ironically, the two would be getting married at a time when India-Pakistan diplomatic ties have frozen following the 2008 Mumbai terror attacks. But they are certainly not the first cross-border couple. Former Pakistan Test opener Mohsin Khan had tied Indian actress Reena Roy in the 1980s but the marriage didn’t last. Marriage casts a shadow over Sania’s career but given the support Shoaib is promising, the Hyderabadi seems set to continue her on-court life as well.

“I fully understand what it takes to be an international sports person and I will support Sania in her career as long as she wishes to play. Representing India at the 2012 Olympics is very important for her and I will be the proudest husband if she can win a medal for her country,” said Shoaib. He said the exact date and place of his marriage have not been decided yet. “It is (marriage) happening next month somewhere and I think parents will decide the dates. It’s entirely up to our parents wherever they will decide,” Shoaib said. Shoaib said both the families were happy with the development, as was Sania. “Well Inshallah, we are getting married soon and our families are very happy. We both are also happy,” he told ARY TV channel.

Sania, who has lived in media glare ever since rising to stardom as an 18-year-old after moderate success on the WTA circuit, has pleaded for privacy. “My wedding is inshallah going to be the biggest day of my life. I have been in the constant glare for too long and would appreciate the privacy at this very personal moment in my life,” she said. But given the massive interest surrounding her new relationship, quote-hungry journalists are unlikely to leave her alone. Meanwhile, Sania flew to Delhi on a brief visit to get her visa to Pakistan where a post-wedding reception is scheduled next month.

Accompanied by her mother, the 23-year-old Mirza, went to the Pakistan High Commission and completed the formalities. “We have got the visa. We are happy. Now that we have got the visa, we will be travelling to Pakistan”, her mother Nasima Mirza told reporters. Sania herself declined to comment on the impending marriage. “I am not answering any questions,” she told reporters. Nasima said the family was very happy with Sania’s decision. “We are very happy about her decision. We are all with her and Inshallah we wish all the best to her,” she said.

Her mother refused to talk about Sania’s previous engagement with childhood friend Sohrab Mirza. “I don’t want to comment on what all happened in the past and we should all look ahead,” she said. While the marriage is likely to be held on April 11 or 12 in Hyderabad, the ‘Walima’ or reception is expected to be held in Lahore on April 16 or 17. Six members of Shoaib Malik’s family have also applied for visas to travel to India but Shoaib himself hasn’t submitted his application so far. But he is expected to do it soon,” official sources said.

AGENCIES

GOODBYE BAJI GUDDO

By Mahtab Bashir
ISLAMABAD
mahtabbashir@gmail.com

She was indeed a brave lady, a down-to earth character, a hospitable to the core, well-versed and learned with jolly attitude. She was an educated lady with a good taste of dressing.

I remember, Over the years, whenever I visited her place, her favourite questions put up to me were, “Way, Ajkal ki kar riyan ain?” and “Teri Shadi kado ho rai ay’? & I being done homework about the same repeated questions, in particular to handle the second question - kept on saying… “Jadu Allah nu manzoor hoya, Baji”. And she smiled back at me going straightaway to kitchen making something for me.

She was Baji Guddo - who left us forever for Heaven, at the wee hours of March 18, 2010 after battling gallantly against the deadliest disease of cancer.
….. continued

AJOKA GAINS- PNCA, ActionAid PAINS

By Muhammad Mahtab Bashir

ISLAMABAD: A string of scuffles, and heated arguments between fundamentalists and enlightened was witnessed on Thursday night, when a professional dishonesty presented by Ajoka Theatre, forcibly managed to produce a different stage drama, contrary to display at invitation cards.

Shocking the twin city audience at National Art Gallery (NAG), when at the eleventh hour Ajoka Theatre started staging one of the most controversial musical stage drama ‘Burqavaganza” instead of scheduled “Kala Meidha Bhes”, without informing the administration of Pakistan National Council of the Arts (PNCA) neither its collaborative partner, ActionAid- Pakistan.

ActionAid in collaboration with Pakistan National Council of the Arts (PNCA), arranged the drama night, and penal discussion, on Thursday night to mark the International Women’s Day (IWD).

As soon as the announcer grabbed the attention of 412- seated packed auditorium of PNCA, Ajoka Theatre Director, Madeeha Gauhar, rushed on the sage and announced that it was mutually decided by the organizers, ActionAid and Ajoka, to perform ‘Burqavaganza’. However, ActionAid official denied this statement, saying till the last minute, no such agreement was made between us. PNCA higher ups also were ignorant of the switch till the last minute as few of the officials had to rush back office to look after the matter.

PNCA was the worst victim in such scenario; far its property was on stake as no security arrangements were arranged on the occasion for staging of ‘Burqavaganza’. Sensing the dramatic change, and to counter any untoward situation, PNCA administration immediately called Islamabad Police, who cordoned off the building and internal security was put on red alert. However, few rioters burned the banners inscribed about the stage play and its organisers. People also shouted shame, shame inside auditorium. And later physical brawls were also witnessed beacuse of few controversial discourses which the 'extremists' termed a mimickery of Islam.

In April 2007, a month after its premiere, five women MNAs of Muttahida Majlis-e-Amal (MMA) raised the matter in the National Assembly and the culture minister immediately slapped a ban without any of them having watched the play. However, the play was performed in defiance of the ban and eventually the government had to step back.Written and directed by Shahid Nadeem, the play is an outrageous musical extravaganza with dubious satirical dialogue, which explores Burqa as a dramatic device and uses it as a metaphor. Breaking the third and fourth wall repeatedly, the play remained divisive till the very end because of its strong spoof on Burqa-clad females through some illicit discourse, parody of different Indian songs and question-answer segment in which two Muftis received telephonic calls and resolved the problems and disputes amicably according to their knowledge.

Sumaira Kanwal, a veil-clad viewer, said that the play was good as far as exposing the social realities was concerned; but using Burqa as a tool for committing crimes with mala fide intentions was just larger than life concept of the play. “Making a mockery of a good number of women wearing Burqa is just a plain bad idea. And ridiculing them through different Indian and Pakistani songs like ‘Burqay Mein Rehnay Do, Burqa Na Uthao’, ‘Ye Jo Burqa Hay, Dushman Hay Hamara’, ‘Burqay Kay Peechay Kia Hay, Burqay Kay Peechay’, and ‘Aye Watan Kay Sajeelay Jawano Meray Burqay Tumharay Liye Hain’ is something I could not easily digest,” she said. Attiya Imdad, a schoolteacher, said that the play was hilarious – a non-stop fun.

“But the thing I dislike was ambiguity in questions and answers in which callers from all over places contacted the two Maulana to seek solution to their plight. Questions like ‘How much a women should hide her body’, ‘Which material she should use to hide it?’ and ‘Why she should hide it?’ are few of the many questions in the play that put me in trouble to decide whether it’s an Ajoka production or just another ordinary play which families refuse to watch,” she said.

Waseem Elahi, an advocate said that he came to watch “Kala Meidha Bhes”, but the performance of "Burqavaganza" scared him. “The theme of the drama was indeed a controversial and a security risk for the lives of the audience but also for the government property as well. The panic engulfed the whole audience when panel discussion started,” he said.

He said the taunting dialogues of this drama are a mere disgrace to the women on the eve of "Woman's Day". Financial gains are overlapping the social pains and the very bases of our society are witnessing tremors. He further said the play itself is a violation of basic human rights. One should be free to adopt the way of life which he/ she likes but without causing any harm to the peace and accepted norms of the society, he added.

Talking to Daily Times, Hassan Abbas Raza said that this play was performed in Drama Festival last year at PNCA and at that time we were reluctant to stage it, because it was of a bad taste. “When ActionAid contacted us to mark IWD and they would show Ajoka theatre’s play- Kala Meidha Bhes’, we agreed upon. Since the last minute, neither PNCA nor ActionAid were aware that Ajoka would change its mind and suddenly they did it- showing moral degeneration,” he said adding last night, Ajoka manager, Uzair came to our office, and told that Ajoka is ready to perform KMB but inside auditorium, Madeeha Gauhar switched to controversial play ‘Burqavaganza’, that took people by storm.

Raza said PNCA would devise a strategy in few days not to show any controversial drama on PNCA premises.

When contacted ActionAid, the official of NGO refused to talk over the matter, saying that ActionAid would soon hold a media briefing and exposed the matter publicly. Daily Times, when repeatedly contacted Ajoka Theatre Director, Madeeha Gauhar at her personal cell , it remained shut till the filing of this story.

For edited (published) story in 'Daily Times' (March 13, 2010)

http://www.dailytimes.com.pk/default.asp?page=2010%5C03%5C13%5Cstory_13-3-2010_pg11_1
http://www.dailytimes.com.pk/default.asp?page=2010\03\13\story_13-3-2010_pg11_2

HUMOUR is the Biggest TURN-ON in Bedroom

You know it’s time to sex up your... umm sex life, when the passion goes out of fashion and action between the sheets is more about yawns than yearning. And no, we aren’t recommending aromatherapy or aphrodisiacs, candles or cushions, toys or technology. Just a healthy dose of laughter, which can take your sluggish sexual chemistry from agony to ecstasy.

How does laughter engender romance and love? “Laughter does not mean you’ve got to clown around or play the joker,” says Dr. Prakash Kothari, one of India’s most renowned sexologists, “The whole idea is to lighten up and treat sex as a journey where the pleasure is in the travel rather than the arrival. If you use your partners as sleeping pills, sex will eventually cease to hold any interest. Get adventurous and innovative. Like placing mirrors imaginatively and checking yourselves out while you warm up to the act. Be creative, not kinky.”

Laughter, say studies, is a definite mood upper for intimate moments. Media professional Sharmila Gupta*, who recently celebrated her twentieth marriage anniversary, says, “Laughter revs up the relationship and takes that special moment into the fourth gear immediately. Teasing smiles, uproarious shared laughter or muffled giggles are the stuff bedroom moments are made of.”

But while laughter could be the bind that strengthens sexual bonds as one grows into the marriage, does it perform as much when hormones and horniness are, anyway, high? Responding to this is the just-married emcee and popular TV personality Craig Gallyot, who says: “The biggest high of being married is that you don’t have to hide your kinky fantasies from society anymore. They’re all yours to experiment. We pick and choose our positions, and then double up with laughter as we struggle, contort and distort! Jokes and banter give way to sexual flirting and then it’s action time, folks!”

Even those in a relationship declare that cackles and chuckles heat it up for them. “Who wouldn’t like some sexy humour in bed?” asks Alistair Mendonca. “It definitely helps relax and get into the mood. Jokes and games increase the time spent together instead of just getting down to the job and then hitting the sack. It also gets the blood rushing to all the right places,” adds the 29-yr-old IT engineer, who’s in a steady relationship.

For young corporate executive Reshma, even the brush of a feather against her skin amps up the “sack session”. “Bedroom humour”, she declares, “is one of the biggest turn-ons.”

So, if you’ve hit some kind of a dead-end in matters physical, may we suggest a good roll on your sides before that roll in the hay!

Courtesy TOI

HABIB JALIB- A POET of ALL SEASONS

BY MAHTAB BASHIR
ISLAMABAD

Remembering HABIB JALIB on his 82nd Birthday today (February 28, 2010)

Muhabbat golion sy bo rahay ho/ Watan ka chehra khoon' sy dho rahay ho/ Gumaan' tumko ky rasta katt raha hay/ Yakeen' mujhko ky manzil kho rahy ho

Habib Jalib (1928 - 1993) was one of the most renowned Pakistani revolutionary poet of 20th century. A left wing activist and politician. He was a staunch democrat who opposed martial law, authoritarianism and state oppression.

After Nazir Akbarabadi, Jalib is perhaps the finest poet labeled as poet of masses. Like Akbarabadi he is truly a man of the people — his way of life is like that of the common people. His style of loving, thinking and feeling is like that of the common people, and his aspirations are those of the common people. And he expresses the sadness, the pain, the voice and the desires of the common people in their language. And if thousands and hundreds of thousands love Jalib so much, and lose control over themselves on hearing his verses, then this love, this infatuation, is not without cause.

While reading his classic collection of poetry, 1 am missing his words badly, as it is a time ripe enough to a voice like of Jalib to filled the air of this country. Here are few extracts from his mas­ter pieces…….

Har Shakhs meray des ka karzay may hay jakra
Mehngai ki afriyyat nay logon ko hay pakra
Soobay bhi hain biphray huay markaz bhi hay akra
Allah he cbaJata hay meray des ka chakra.

His poetry was a true reflection of Awami (public) feelings and aspirations. Jalib, never failed to lose direct, vibrant and strong contact with the masses in any regime till the last drop of blood running through his veins.

Farzi mukaddamaat hain jhooti sha-hadatein
Hum phjrbni likh rahein hein junoo ki hikayatein
Mujrim ki abb nishaan-dahi kon kar saky
Abb tak hein band ahle kalam ki adalatein.

Pakistan ki gheirat kay rakhwalo!
Bheek na mango
Tor kay iss kashkole ko aadhi khalo
Bheek na mango
Dosto jag-hansaai na mango
Maot mango, rehaai na mango
Ghaasibon say bhalaai na mango
Maot mango, rehaai na mango

Unfortunately, today there's no such person alive in these critical juncture of affairs, who can fight against evil and insist on truth. None is willing to sacrifice his personality and poetry for the common good of the people in modern days.

Yeh dharti hay asl may piaray
mazduron dehkano ki
Iss dharti par chal na sakay gi
Marzi cand gharano ki

Today, everyone is afraid of the power and wealth of the oppressors; Habib Jalib was the one who unmasked veils of those who massacred at night. Today, we need such person like Jalib, who can put life in the fad­ing pulse of the nation.

Amreeka say maang na bheek
Matt kar logon ki tazkeek
Roke naa jamhoori tehreek
Chore na aazadi ki raah
Pakistan ka matlab kia
La Ilaha Illal Lah.

Sometimes I think, how did this earthly mendicant get his power to say ‘No’? What is this power that makes this gentle person fight against evil and insist on truth? In fact this power is due to the love of the people and the animal spring which lends bravery and enthusiasm to Jalib comes from the people. Habib Jalib has sacrificed his personality and his poetry for the common good of the people.

Deep jiska sirf mahellaat hi main jalay,
Chand logon ki khushyon ko lay ker chalay,
Wo jo saay main har maslihat kay palay;
Aisay dastoor ko, Subh e bay noor ko,
Main naheen maanta, Main naheen jaanta.

Main bhee kha’if naheen takhta e daar say,
Main bhee Mansoor hoon, keh do aghyaar say,
Kyun daraatay ho zindaan ki divar say,
Zulm ki baat ko, Jehel ki raat ko,
Main naheen maanta, Main naheen jaanta.

Phool shaakhon pay khilnay lagay tum kaho,
Jaam rindon ko milnay lagay tum kaho,
Chaak seenon kay silnay lagay tum kaho,
Iss khulay jhoot ko, Zehan ki loot ko,
Main naheen maanta, Main naheen jaanta.

Tum nay loota hai sadyon hamara sakoon,
Ab na hum per chalay ga tumhara fasoon,
Charagar main tumhain kisttarah say kahoon?
Tum naheen charaagar, Koi maanay magar,
Main naheen maanta, Main naheen jaanta.

-Muhammad Mahtab Bashir

mahtabbashir@gmail.com

03335363248

Islamabad

INTERNATIONAL MOTHER TONGUE DAY- A Tribute to the Greatness of Punjabi People

MAHTAB BASHIR
ISLAMABAD
mahtabbashir@gmail.com
03335363248

Language is the most powerful instrument of preserving and developing tangible and intangible heritage. All moves to promote the dissemination of mother tongue serves not only to encourage linguistic diversity and multilingual education but also to develop fuller awareness of linguistic and cultural traditions throughout the world and to inspire solidarity based on understanding, tolerance and dialogue.

Though an Islooite’s by birth, my Mother Tongue is neither Urdu nor English or any other but Punjabi. My parents hailing from Lahore & Gujranwala, made me a built-in Punjabi regardless to caste and creed and obviously transforming it.

According to Wikipedia Encyclopedia, Punjabi is the most spoken language of Pakistan. It is spoken as first language by over 44.15% of Pakistanis. Punjabis comprise the largest ethnic group in the country. Punjabis are dominant in key institutions such as business, agriculture, industry, government, army, navy, air force, and police, which is why about 70% of Pakistanis can understand or speak Punjabi.

Today (February 21) is the International Mother Language Day- a day that was proclaimed by UNESCO's General Conference in November 1999. The International Day has been observed every year since February 2000 to promote linguistic and cultural diversity and multilingualism.

On 16 May 2007, by resolution 61/266, the General Assembly proclaimed 2008 as the International Year of Languages, to promote unity in diversity and international understanding, through multilingualism and multiculturalism.

Marking this day, I would love to share few of Punjabi lines written by few of my all time favorite poets. This wont be a bad idea to give gratitude to all Punjabi people for their sacrifices, and services they rendered over the centuries to make Punajbi a language of International repute. I’m also indebted to all Punjabi mothers for their contribution in nurturing their children for the welfare of society and country!

Rabba Sachiya tu tay Akhiya si
Ja Oye Bandiya Jug Da Shah hain Toon
Sadian Naimtan terian Doltan Nain
Sada Naib tay Alijah hain Toon
Aes Larey Tay Tor Kud Puchiya Iy
Kee Iss Nimanay tey bitiyan nayn
Kadi Saar wi layi O Rab Sayin
Teray Shah Nal Jag ki Kitiyan nayn
Kithay Dhons Polis Sarkar di ay
Kithay Dhandli Patwar Di ay
Enwain Huddan ich Kalpay Jan meri
Jeewan Phahi ich Koonj Kurlaondi Ay
Changa Shah Bnaya ei Rab Sayian
Polay khandiyan War na Ayondi ay
Mainu Shahi nai Chahidi Rab meray
Main tay Izzat da tukkar mangna han
Menu Tahng nai, mehlan mnarian di
Main tay Jeewan di Nukkar Mangna han
Meri Mannain tay tairian main mannan
Teri Sohn Jay ik wi gal moran
Jey Ayeh nai Pujdi tan Rabba fair
Main Jawan tay RAB Koi Hor loraan
-FAIZ AHMED FAIZ
Mera Tay Bus aina e kujh ay
Hissa Apnay Aap dy which
Jinna Raat day sunan walay da
Paar ay paer di chaap dy which
-MUNIR NIAZI
Jay tu chad ky tur jana si
Pyaar di khed rachai kio si
Dy ky kaol jy phir jana si
Dil di baazi lai kio si

Menu jisda dar si channa
Orak o gal ho kay rai
Paanway hun may moyaan wargi
Jeenwan gi par teray lai
Khoray meray ronday dil tay
Tenu taras kadi aa jaway
Khoray kich meri yadaan di
Tenu aithay kich liaway.-AHMED RAHI

Charsi naal meil sharabi da, nahi ho sakda, nahi ho sakda
Koi Sunni yaar wahabi da, Nahi ho sakda, nahi ho sakda

Sao sabun bhaway wartan pay, kanwaan nay baglay nahi hona Tappar to laththa chabi da, nahi ho sakda, nahi ho sakda

Buriyan nay kaar bhalaai da- na karna aay, na honi aay
Bhaliyaan to kam kharaabi da, nahi ho sakda, nahi ho sakda

Gharian which koh mukanday nay, jo banday udham walay nay
Sustaan to pandh shataabi da- nahi ho sakda, naho ho sakda

O baal Obeira, rul janday, jinna diyan Maawan mar jawan
Maa warga saaya Bhabhi da- nahi ho sakda, nahi ho sakda.
-OBEIR ABUZARI

Ajj da Din wi awaien e langiyaa, koi wi kam na hoya
Purab wallon’ chariya Suraj, Pachchim aan khaloya
Naa milya may khalqat nu, na yaad Khuda nu keeta
Naa may parhi Namaz tay naa may Jaam Sharaab da peeta
Khushi naa gham- koi kol na aya, naa hasya, naa royaa
Ajj da Din wi awaien e langiyaa, koi wi kam na hoya-MUNIR NIAZI

MAHTAB BASHIR

ISLAMABAD

0333 5363 248

mahtabbashir@gmail.com

A PILL TO FALL IN OR OUT OF LOVE!

After the passion of Valentine’s Day, here is some sobering news for lovers. Pop a love pill, and you are on. And pop an anti-love pill, you are done - without any lingering emotions.

Scientists say it will soon be possible to fall in and out of love at whim - just like hopping into a bus and then getting off two stops later.

They say that since falling in love is merely a chemical reaction in the human brain, a love pill may be invented soon to trigger this chemical reaction to make people in love.

And then there could be an anti-love pill to make people fall out of love.

According to an American neuro-scientist, researchers may soon find the right kind of chemical mixture to help people fall in and out of love.

Larry Young of Atlanta 's Emory University School of Medicine told a television network at the weekend that researchers may soon be able to show that emotions such as love are directly triggered by biochemical events in the human brain.

He said his research into prairie voles - which are short-tailed, mouse-like animals found in the prairies (fertile plains) of the US and Canada - has shown that sexual bonding can be triggered and blocked by the addition or subtraction of certain chemicals to the brain.

“(The voles) are monogamous. That is, they form a life-long bond with a partner. We have been studying the chemistry behind that,'' he said.
But when Young injected the chemical (hormone) oxytocin into the brain of a female prairie vole, she quickly abandoned her monogamy and fell for the nearest male. But when the chemical hormone to her brain was stopped, her bonding with the new mate was over.

According to Young, “The hormone interacts with the reward and reinforcement system driven by the neurotransmitter dopamine - the same circuitry that drugs such as nicotine, cocaine and heroine act on in humans to produce euphoria and addiction.''

The happy news, said Young, is that his research has shown that ``there is an overlap between the brain areas involved in vole bonding and those associated with human love.

“What's more, the chemical oxytocin, which was observed to trigger bonding in voles, also changes human behaviour.

“People who inhale oxytocin become more trusting ... They engage in more eye contact ... (It) tunes them into the social world. Dopamine gives us a reward, so you feel good.''

Creating a cocktail of these two chemicals (oxytocin and dopamine) in the form of a love pill could create an attraction between two people, he said.

But if attraction could be chemically induced, he added, the opposite was also possible in the form of anti-love pills.

“You could block those chemicals when you're around this person. All drugs are just mimicking or blocking our own natural brain chemistry,'' Young said.

He said these chemical cocktails could help countless couples who spend huge amounts of money on marital therapy in future.

IANS

WOMEN TAKE MORE TIME TO UNDERSTAND JOKES

Women take little extra time to understand jokes but they derive more pleasure from a good punchline compared to their male counterparts, according to a new study.

The study conducted at Stanford University in California found that women use more parts of the brain than men to process jokes and have less expectation that they willfind them funny.

The research, which was aimed at unravelling the mystery of how our sense of humour works, suggested that women preferred more sophisticated humour and used more complex brain functions to process it, The Sunday Times reported.

"Our findings fit the stereotype of how men and women react to humour," said lead researcher Prof Allan Reiss, director of the university`s Interdisciplinary Brain SciencesResearch Center.

"We found greater activity in the prefrontal cortex in women, indicating women are processing stimuli that involve language areas of the brain. The interpretation of that finding is that women tend to respond more to word play and narrative than slapstick."

For the study, researchers used functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) technology to monitor how men and women respond to humour differently by observing their brain activity.

In one of the experiments, 10 women and 10 men were placed in an fMRI scanner and shown 70 black-and-white cartoons on a screen. They pressed buttons to indicate howamusing they found each joke.
The scanner measured the subjects` brain activity as they viewed both funny and unfunny cartoons, as well as timing how long it took them to respond to a joke.

The experiments found that women displayed more intense activity than men in the prefrontal cortex of the brain, which controls language interpretation and in-depthanalytical processes.

Researchers said that women participants of the study took slightly longer to react to jokes that were funny, but enjoyed the punchlines more. They, however, said the timedifference was marginal."

The scans also indicate that women have a lower expectation that they will find jokes funny but when they do, they experience a greater degree of reward," said Reiss."

Men have the opposite response. They show more activation of nucleus accumbens (the part of the brain involved in reward and pleasure), indicating they expect to get the joke but when they don’t they get more depressed."

Reiss is now conducting similar tests on children to determine whether gender differences in humour are biological and genetic or nurtured through experience.

Agencies

OF SYMPATHY

By Adam Smith

How selfish so ever man may be supposed, there are evidently some principles in his nature, which interest him in the fortune of others, and render their happiness necessary to him, though he derives nothing from it except the pleasure of seeing it. Of this kind is pity or compassion, the emotion which we feel for the misery of others, when we either see it, or are made to conceive it in a very lively manner. That we often derive sorrow from the sorrow of others, is a matter of fact too obvious to require any instances to prove it; for this sentiment, like all the other original passions of human nature, is by no means confined to the virtuous and humane, though they perhaps may feel it with the most exquisite sensibility. The greatest ruffian, the most hardened violator of the laws of society, is not altogether without it.

As we have no immediate experience of what other men feel, we can form no idea of the manner in which they are affected, but by conceiving what we ourselves should feel in the like situation. Though our brother is upon the rack, as long as we ourselves are at our ease, our senses will never inform us of what he suffers. They never did, and never can, carry us beyond our own person, and it is by the imagination only that we can form any conception of what are his sensations. Neither can that faculty help us to this any other way, than by representing to us what would be our own, if we were in his case. It is the impressions of our own senses only, not those of his, which our imaginations copy. By the imagination we place ourselves in his situation, we conceive ourselves enduring all the same torments, we enter as it were into his body, and become in some measure the same person with him, and thence form some idea of his sensations, and even feel something which, though weaker in degree, is not altogether unlike them. His agonies, when they are thus brought home to ourselves, when we have thus adopted and made them our own, begin at last to affect us, and we then tremble and shudder at the thought of what he feels. For as to be in pain or distress of any kind excites the most excessive sorrow, so to conceive or to imagine that we are in it, excites some degree of the same emotion, in proportion to the vivacity or dullness of the conception.

That this is the source of our fellow-feeling for the misery of others, that it is by changing places in fancy with the sufferer, that we come either to conceive or to be affected by what he feels, may be demonstrated by many obvious observations, if it should not be thought sufficiently evident of itself. When we see a stroke aimed and just ready to fall upon the leg or arm of another person, we naturally shrink and draw back our own leg or our own arm; and when it does fall, we feel it in some measure, and are hurt by it as well as the sufferer. The mob, when they are gazing at a dancer on the slack rope, naturally writhe and twist and balance their own bodies, as they see him do, and as they feel that they themselves must do if in his situation. Persons of delicate fibres and a weak constitution of body complain, that in looking on the sores and ulcers which are exposed by beggars in the streets, they are apt to feel an itching or uneasy sensation in the correspondent part of their own bodies. The horror which they conceive at the misery of those wretches affects that particular part in themselves more than any other; because that horror arises from conceiving what they themselves would suffer, if they really were the wretches whom they are looking upon, and if that particular part in themselves was actually affected in the same miserable manner. The very force of this conception is sufficient, in their feeble frames, to produce that itching or uneasy sensation complained of. Men of the most robust make, observe that in looking upon sore eyes they often feel a very sensible soreness in their own, which proceeds from the same reason; that organ being in the strongest man more delicate, than any other part of the body is in the weakest.

Neither is it those circumstances only, which create pain or sorrow, that call forth our fellow-feeling. Whatever is the passion which arises from any object in the person principally concerned, an analogous emotion springs up, at the thought of his situation, in the breast of every attentive spectator. Our joy for the deliverance of those heroes of tragedy or romance, who interest us, is as sincere as our grief for their distress, and our fellow-feeling with their misery is not more real than that with their happiness. We enter into their gratitude towards those faithful friends who did not desert them in their difficulties; and we heartily go along with their resentment against those perfidious traitors who injured, abandoned, or deceived them. In every passion of which the mind of man is susceptible, the emotions of the bystander always correspond to that, by bringing the case home to himself, he imagines should be the sentiments of the sufferer.

Pity and compassion are words appropriated to signify our fellow-feeling with the sorrow of others. Sympathy, though its meaning was, perhaps, originally the same, may now, however, without much impropriety, be made use of to denote our fellow-feeling with any passion whatever.

(The extract is taken from The Theory of Moral Sentiments by Adam Smith)

Adam Smith was a Scottish moral philosopher and a pioneer of political economics. He is also the author of The Wealth of Nations, which is considered the first modern work of economics.

Courtesy DAIL TIMES Feb 01, 2010

YOU'RE THE AIR THAT I BREATHE ...

By Mahtab Bashir
mahtabbashir@gmail.com
Islamabad

I’m not a perfect person. There are many things I wish I didn’t do but I continue learning. I never meant to do those things to you. And so I have to say before I go further- that I want you to know.

Today is Valentine’s Day- a day supposedly dedicated to love, lovers & romanticism. On this day, I’ve found a reason to change what I used to be. I want to start my life all over again for a reason- and that reason is you!!! This day I want to dedicate a song to my dear one- the song I’ve selected is one of my all time favourite and down the memory lane, it was perhaps the only song I understand, rather learnt by heart during my college days.

With so many beautiful emotional songs, it's hard to pick just one, but one current song I really love is, “ALL THAT I NEED” from BoyZone- an all boys band of whom I was (am) a die hard fan. The song really depicts different situations, but for me it describes a relationship between a man and a woman. As the character sings I get the feeling that he is very sorry for things he's done in the past, and although he cannot change them he understands that his mind is made up, and he has no other choice but to "hang around" and see what happens next.

‘All that I need’ – Quite a meaningful song, shows that you don't have to "be someone else" all your life and that you should be you. You should respect yourself and the things you have accomplished. It’s all for you dear…. & you know who you are! … And I want to thank you, lady!!! Here’s for you…….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2mlD6nEgyE8

I was lost and alone
Trying to grow making my way down that long winding road
Had no reason no rhyme
Like a song out of time
And there you were standing in front of my eyes

How could I be such a fool
To let go of love and break all the rules
Girl when you walked down that door
Left a hole in my heart
And now I know for sure

You're the air that I breathe
Girl you're all that I need
And I wanna thank you, lady
You're the words that I read
You're the light that I see
And your love is all that I need

I was searching in vain
Playing a game Had no-one else but myself left to blame
You came into my world
No diamonds or pearls Just like a castle of sand
Girl, I almost let love slip right out of my hands
And just like a flower needs rain
I will stand by your side through the joy and the pain

You're all that I need, girl
You're the air that I breathe, yeah
And I want to thank you
(And I want to thank you, lady)

You're the words that I read, girl
You're love is all I need, yeah
And I want to thank you
(And I want to thank you, lady)

You're all that I need, girl
You're the air that I breathe, yeah
And I want to thank you .......

Muhammad Mahtab Bashir
mahtabbashir@yahoo.com
03335363248
Islamabad

NICE MEN MORE ATTRACTIVE

When it comes to the dating game, nice guys are the winners, says Scientists.

Research shows that although good looks are still important, it is a kind heart that makes a girl go weak at the knees. Psychologists discovered that women are much more likely to fall for the man who shows generosity and a willingness to help other people.

In a series of tests, men who had "altruistic interests", such as working for a charity, were regarded as "significantly more desirable." Although being devoted to good causes will not make a man more physically appealing, it does make him a better candidate for a marriage or simply a one-night stand, the study revealed.

The findings came after experiments involving 150 female undergraduates at McMaster University, Ontario, Canada. They were shown a set of fictional dating adverts, each including a man's photo and a brief description.

Researchers changed the wording so that some women saw an "altruistic" version, while others got a "neutral" one. For example, one group was shown a man who played guitar in a children's hospital, while a second group was shown the same photo but told he simply performed "in a local establishment".

Results revealed that the women found the "nice guy" more attractive.

Dr Pat Barclay, who led the study, said: "In some of the profiles we gave hints to indicate kind, altruistic interests such as 'I enjoy helping people' and 'I volunteer at the food bank'. We found that women showed a strong preference for relationships with altruistic men, even though the clues to altruistic traits were fairly subtle. This suggests that women are attuned to generosity, and that altruism serves a purpose in mate selection.

"Folk wisdom apparently argues that 'nice guys finish last' and that they are less attractive than 'bad boys'. However, this is often an unfair comparison."

Other research has suggested that women are drawn to macho males regarded as "heroic risk takers".

Dr Barclay said: "Public generosity is a way to signal good character to potential mates. Altruism is a costly behaviour that seems to bring no obvious or immediate benefit to the altruist. However, as we have seen in this study, it seems to serve an important purpose in mate choice.
"If a man is kind and generous towards others - even strangers - then there's a good chance that he'd make a good and generous parent."

The report is published in the British Journal of Psychology.

Courtesy Telegraph

THE ISLAMIC VEIL: State of play in Europe

A ban on the wearing of the full Islamic veil is being studied in several European countries, including the Netherlands, Denmark and Austria. In France a parliamentary commission is due to present a much-awaited report on Tuesday, which is expected to recommend that new legislation be enacted to ban the full veil, known as the burqa or niqab, in public places.

THE STATE OF PLAY IN WESTERN EUROPE:

THE NETHERLANDS: several draft laws concerning the wearing of the veil are in the pipeline, including a measure which would ban the garment for teachers. Another draft aims at a ban concerning civil servants.

DENMARK: The government is currently discussing the possibility of limiting wearing of the veil in public places, including school and courts. It is awaiting the opinion of a government commission before deciding.

ITALY: A 1975 law, aimed at protecting public order, makes it illegal to cover one’s face in public places. The provision applies equally to the veil and motorcycle helmets. Some mayors from the anti-immigrant Northern League have banned the wearing of the full veil, and the Islamic swimsuit, locally.

BRITAIN: The education ministry in March 2007 published directives allowing directors of public establishments and denominational schools to ban the niqab, after several high-profile court cases.

AUSTRIA: Social Democratic Women’s Minister Gabriele Heinisch-Hosek launched the debate recently and is mulling a ban on the full Islamic veil in public spaces if the number of women veiled from head to toe increases dramatically.

FRANCE: In 2004 it passed a law banning headscarves or any other “conspicuous” religious symbols in state schools.

BELGIUM: numerous districts ban the full veil in public places under local laws and police ban the wearing of masks in the street except during the period of carnival. AFP