‘I think so,’ I said to Mulloo
yesterday, ‘Allah Mian has stopped loving us Pakistanis’. ‘Why?’ she asked.
‘Bhai, just look. I don’t mean to make huge and cry about it, but first He sent
us floods, then He sent us earthquakes. Then he gave us dengue. Then he sent
bijli problem. And then He gave us Talibans. Azaab after azaab.’
‘But if Imran Khan…’ Mulloo began.
‘Forgot. Allah Mian gave us that nut case Imran Khan also. Ub how much more can
a nation take?’ ‘No need to speak like that, ji!’ she snapped. ‘You’ve been
brain washed by that lefty husband of yours.’ Mulloo is a dye hard PTI burger
na.
Throughout elections she wore a
green polyester kameez with Imran’s face plastered over her belly. ‘Talibans
are not our enemies. Asal mein they’re heroes, fighting a war of liberation’.
‘From who? From Christians of Peshawar?’ ‘No baba. You don’t know anything.
From Americans.’
‘So that’s why they’re killing us?
Because they’re angry with Americans?’ ‘You know na, that America’s sending
them drawns. So it’s badla for drawns. Talibans are very fair like that.’
‘So why they can’t take badla from
Americans, then, if they’re so fair? Why, are they killing Christians? Killing
Shias? Shooting Malala? Why they burnt schools in Dir? Beheaded singers in
Swat? Haan? Badla from America?’
‘Tau aur kya? If we follow Imran and
do sullah with them and give them a nice, cool sa office with split ACs and
leather sofas, then they’ll start loving us. Even Christians and Shias and
womens’. ‘Chalo let’s give them an office on that new island that’s come up off
Balochistan’s coast after the earthquake, okay?’
‘Voh tau it’s full of mud and dirt
and gives off smelly gases’. ‘But it’s Naya Pakistan, like your leader
promised’. ‘No ji, they’ll want something more comfy.’
‘Idea aya, Mulloo. Why not make
acchha spacy sa office inside Imran’s mention in Bani Gala? He lives all alone
there. Must have so much of wastrel space. And getting lonely also’
‘No ji, he doesn’t live there alone.
For your info he lives there with his dogs, okay?’ ‘Tau that’s good, no? He’ll
have a few more animals to aliven things up.’
Courtesy
TFT
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