THERE’S A HOLE, IN MY SOUL

By Mahtab Bashir
mahtabbashir@gmail.com
Islamabad

Hay tukray tukray dil ki tarah, dastaan-e-dil
Kuch lab pay, kuch zubaan pay, kuch chashm-e-tar may hay

So Much Anguish- how could someone cause me so much twinge, she made me virtually insane. I am only me when I was with her and now … it's hard to be myself...I just tried to want her to see the good in me, but I failed on every moment.

I was born the day I met you,
Lived a while when you loved me,
And died a bit when we broke apart.

I still remember, the first time we met... And when she sang to me I swear I could fly...I was the true admirer of her voice, I distinctly remember, at our early days and thereafter, she used to hum one of my all time favourite lines of a song and later I invited her time and again to please, sing few lines of it… “Kaisay… Bhooloon gi …Tu Yaad Hamesha Aay Ga- Teray … Janay Say…, Jeena Mushkil Ho Jaay Ga …….” Aor may itna pagal - kay in 2 lines may chupay itnay baray ishary ko kabhi samjh hi na paya… balkay hamesha jab hum kabhi achay mood may hotay to may isi song ki request karta, and she never skipped my request, never did she decline any of others. I miss her, like hell- that’s it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTssV0zZfhQ

Main Hosh Mein Tha To Phir Uss Pe Mar Gaya Kaise
Ye Zehar Maire Lahoo Mein Uter Gaya Kaisay
Kuch UsKe Dil Mein Lagaawat Zaroor Thi Warna
Woh Maira Haath Daba Ker Guzar Gaya Kaisay

Now, memories are biting me- I’m devastated as my heart still is sinking. She made me realize it could be life, and its all about pain.

SWANSONG TO MY DEAREST!
I know its not your fault. May teri majboorion ko samjhta hun dear. May shyaed tujhay samjh hi nahi paya- may fail ho gia hun, or wo bhi zindagi ki early stages par. Please forgive me for everything I did wrong, for every word that hurt you. I found you more sensible, mature and ‘practical’ on every phase of life and as a human being, you are unparallel. I feel mortified- may teray kisi kam nahi a saka, kisi bhi aik kam- I’m so sorry dear. This is life, and this is how life plays its part. And this is what you keep on inserting into my mind.

I have just a qualm saying that how a sensible person who knows everything under the sun, fall prey to a paranormal feelings, knowing well this is not a realistic approach. I remember, when I was told repeatedly to come out of this non-practical move and take life seriously as it should be. And to add insult to my injuries, the person herself fall victim of it- ignoring the future prospect. I know, you took a long to made your verdict, but being a female and head of family, i doubt it was a wise decision taken in broader spectrum. Anyways…. I am not at all pleading to get someone back!!!

I believe, If you break up with someone, it is only because there is someone else waiting for you, and that’s what you told me, on a midnight of Tuesday, November 10. Now from hereon I just want to conclude with tears in my eyes that …….. I never felt true love until I was with you, and I never felt true sadness until you left me. Now it's hard to start all over again and find a new love and a friend like you… You are unforgettable! May Allah Almighty diminish your desolations of today and forever.

All the very best, I bear no retribution whatsoever. You have your right to pick, choose or ignore, and now you have made your decisions- and rightly so because its your life. Enjoy it …

God bless you dear!

Kuch may hi jaanta hoon, jo mujh par guzar gai
Dunia to lutf lay gi meray wakiyaat say.

AN EVENING AT LAHORE

Barish thi, hum thay, or ghani ho rahi thi shaam
Tumnay lia tha kanptaay honto say mera naam
Mainay kaha tha, Ao yunhi bheegtay chalain
In rasto may dair talak ghoomtay rahein
Meri kamar may haath ye phoolon sa daal kar
Kaandhay pay meray, rakhay raho yunhi apna sir
Haatho ko may kabhi, kabhi baloo ko choom loon
Dekho meri taraf to may ankhoo ko choom loon
Pani kay ye jo phool hein, rukh par khilay huay
In mein dhanak ky rang hain saaray ghulay huay
Honto sy inko chuntay rahein, khushdili kay saath
Taaray hamain talaash karain, chaandni kay saath
Yunhi kisi darkht ky neechay kharay rahein
Barish kay deir baad bhi, liptay kharay rahein

Tum nay kaha tha, Ao chalein- raat aa gai
Dil jis say dar raha hay, wohi baat aa gai
Beetay samay ki yaad hi, rasto may reh na jay
Ye dil kahein wisaal ki barish may beh na jay

Kuch deir, aik chup si rahi darmiyaan may
Girhein si jaisay, parnay lagi hon zubaan may
Tum pechay hatnay wali thi, jaany ky wastay
Ankhein jhuka rahi thi, churaany ky wastay
Yakdam gira tha phool, koi shaakhsaar say
Dekha tha tum nay meri taraf, iztaraar say
Baarish may bheegtay huay, jhonkay hawa ky thay
Wo chand begumaan sy lamhay, balaa ky thay
Nashaa sa aik chaaron taraf phailta gia
Phir uskay baad mainay, tumhay kuch nahi kaha.

Dard Mein Bhi Yeh Lab Muskuraa Jaaty Hain
Beetay Lamhay Hamein Jab Bhi Yaad Aaty Hain …
Beetay Lamhay …….

Chandd Lamhaaat Ke Waastay Hi Sahi
Muskuraa kar Mili Thi Mujhay zindagi
Teri Aaghosh Mein Din Thay Mery Katay
Teri Baahon Mein Thi Meri Raat Kati

Aaj Bhi Jab Woh Pal Mujhko Yaad Aaty Hain
Dil Se Saaray Ghamon Ko Bhula Jaatay Hain

Dard Mein Bhi Yeh Lab Muskura Jaaty Hain
Beete Lamhein Hamein Jab Bhi Yaad Aaty Hain …
Beetay Lamhay …

Mery Kaandhy Pe Sir Ko Jhukaana Tera
Mere Sinay Mein Khud Ko Chhupaana Tera …
Aakay Meri Panaahon Mein Shaam-o-Sehar
Kaanch Ki Tarah Woh Toot Jaana Tera

Aaj Bhi Jab Woh Manzar Nazar Aaty Hain
Dil Ki Viraaniyon Ko Mita Jaaty Hain
Dard Mein Bhi Yeh Lab Muskura Jaatay Hain
Beete Lamhay Hamein Jab Bhi Yaad Aaty Hain …

Dard Mein….
Beetay Lamhay …….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IN1ghcJcPwc

Dost kiya khoob wafaaon ka sila detay hein
Har naay mor pay ik zakhm naya detay hein

Tumsay to kheir ghari bhar ki mulakaat rahi
Log sadiyon ki rafaqat ko bhula detay hein

Jinpay hota hay bohat dil ko bharosa Tablish
Waqt parnay pay wohi log dagha detay hien.

Kis da dosh si, kis da nahi si
Ay gallan hun karan diyan nahi
Weilay lag gay taoba walay
Rataan hokay bharan diyan nahi

Jo hoya, aay hona e si,
Tay honi rokiyaan rukdi nahi
Ik wari jadon shuru ho jaway
Gall feir awein mukdi nahi

Kujh unjwi rahwaan okhiyaan san
Kujh gall wich gham da taoq wi si
Kujh shehar day lok wi zalim san
Kujh sanu maran da shaoq wi si

Guzashta chahtoon ka dukh hawa mein sar-sraeay to

Koi bhoola hua lamha achanak yaad aye to

Tum apnay dil ka veraana bohat abaad kar lena

Mujhay tum yaad kr lena, mujhay tum yaad kr lena

Khealon kay mundairoon par koi mash'al jalaay to

Baharon ka koi mausam tumhaein wapis bulaay to

Mery yaadon ki khushboo say wafa ko shaad kr lena

Mujhay tum yaad kr lena, mujhay tum yaad kr lena!

Muhammad Mahtab Bashir

03005256875

03335363248

mahtabbashir@gmail.com

Islamabad