Saturday, March 21, 2015

ITTEFAQ NAMA

Meray aziz humwatno, I am planning a few days off the leash and sad to say, it can’t be in Bloved London. Why? Because Altaf bhai is there and coast is not clear, hain ji. He has been howling to me on phone, after consuming several liters of Rooh Afza. What I can do, hain ji? General Raheel and his buoys are determined to clean up the mass that MQM has made Karachi. Crime has to be separated from politics, they keep saying. I told Altaf Bhai, “please to wait until end of General Raheel’s term. As you know, army’s policies change with army chief. Look at nice time you had with Musharraf and Kayani. They looked the other way while you and your murderous thugs went on a decade-long killing spree and army chiefs before that too, except General Asif Nawaz.”
But Altaf is concerned about here and now. As you can see, my gormint is not supporting generals in clean up, except for Chory Nisar. Why? Because we know Punjab can be next. And if MQM declines in Karachi, Imran Khan will reap benefit. And finally, as Asif Zardari says, buds of feather must stuck together.

In meeting in PM’s House drawing room, which is size of Lahore Railway Station, I assembled my team and asked them what is to be done about Altaf Bhai and MQM. Everybody’s dental work was on display until I infarmed them that same to same can happen to us. OK, we are not mass murderers in Punjab but there is a profitable syndicate doing good business in various shapes and farms (here I got huge elbow in ribs from Shbaz Saab sitting beside me) ….
Then Shbaz Saab went into huge sulk and despite my several efforts to establish cordial relations, kept stony silence. I kept smiling at him and he kept looking at the peacocks and gazelles in the garden. “Why you are looking at the animals outside when I am inside, hain ji?” I asked. Still no response. Finally I sighed and said to bera, “Open the window. Let the airforce in.”
Courtesy TFT 

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