Monday, February 18, 2013

DIARY OF A SOCIAL BUTTERFLY

Bhai I've tau always said that India is my Most Flavoured Nation. Now guvments on both side have also copied me and opened up trade roots between us and them. So thanks God we can all become rich now. Talking of rich, many Indian richies came to Lahore for this seminal called Aman ki Asha. Janoo went to listen to their speeches but I went to see Prameshwar Godrej. She's just like us - Punjabi, tall, good-looking, wheatish complexion. I pointed her out to Mulloo, who'd gone with me to the seminal. "There she is! I know Prameshwar Godrej", I said. Mulloo snapped back, "but does she know you?" Uffff! Some people, vaisay, are too much!

They say from India, we can have non-stop bijli. Suna hai that in return for our cement ki boris and lawn ka joras, India is going to give us lots of lovely bijli and other nice nice things like Shahrukh Khan and Paan Bahar and kanji worm saris and cars kay parts and so much of steel, so much of steel kay poocho hi na.

Apparently they are crazy for our foods across the boarder. I told Janoo that please put all your onions and mangoes and wheat-sheet and whatever else you grow into a truck and send it to Amrit Sir today only. He said mangoes are not ready yet. I said, who cares baba? Don't you remember that song Kulchoo used to sing when he was a doddler, "Ready or Not Here I Come..." Vaisay between you and me and the four walls you know the problem with Janoo, na? All his get up and go has got up and gone. If it wasn't for me, sachee, he tau would be a total non identity.

Also visa constrictions are going to be relaxed. So instead of going bar bar to bore Delhi I can book myself into one of their super luxurious ashrams (but with 24 hour servants) in a romantic sa quite type village with palm trees and air conditioned huts. You know the type of place where they give you daily enemas till you feel like the world has fallen out of your bottom? And they do massages till your yatras are talking to your chakras and your agni is in tune with your jugni and you are doing ahimsa morning noon and night. And they make you eat little Your Vedic pills and portions made from herbal cow pats and crushed snail shells and so on and so fourth. And they make you sit across legged on a rush ka mat and close your eyes and chant, "Om Shanti Om" till your feel like slapping someone. And at the end of it all you come out totally retoxed and your inner light is shining like a hello gen bulb and you're looking like Ashwariya (before baby, but).

Courtesy TFT

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