Thursday, December 25, 2008

STAYING APART KEEPS ROMANCE ALIVE

Love knows no boundaries. Be it ten hours or ten long years away from your partner, keeping up the intimacy quotient is a prerequisite for any relation to survive. Intimacy doesn't only imply sex, but maintaining a bond that keeps you emotionally involved with your partner.

Writing letters, sending E-mails, phone calls and voice chats are pretty common in a long-distance relationship. Now, what about some out-of-the-box ideas to pep up your love life even while you remain miles away from your beloved? These methods would not only spice up your relationship, but would also let you conquer the distance factor and maintain a never-ending intimacy.

Suneel Vatsyayan, a relationship counselor states, "The most important ingredient of any relationship is communication, especially if it's a long-distance relationship. While communicating, focus on things that reiterate the good moments you both have spent together so that both of you are able to feel closer to each other. Be it an E-mail or a phone call or a web cam conversation, using words, phrases and instances that bring a smile on your partner's face can do the trick." When faced with a lack of reassuring conversations between couples, there might be chances that relationship goes through a turmoil. So, here are a few ways that will help you kill the distance and keep the romance alive.

Snail mails: Quite clich├ęd, but perhaps the most inexpensive way to stay in touch with your partner. The recipient can keep the letter and read it any time they miss you. Mahima, a bank manager feels regular E-mails and letters are the best options to stay connected with her husband stationed in France. "It's tough during office hours to make frequent calls, so by the end of everyday we drop an E-mail in each others' mail box sharing whatever activities we engaged in throughout the day, things that kept us busy, office gossip, family news and plans for the next day. And of course, some lovely messages towards the end of the mail act as an add-on to express how much we care, love and miss each other."

Point to ponder: While writing such mails, do not ramble unnecessarily on mundane details. Keep the focus on your partner and your relationship, mentioning what are your emotions and how you feel without him or her.

Web-cam magic: Overcoming the logistics barriers and staying in contact with your partner throughout the day, web cameras add a much needed kick for long-distance couples. Jitesh Wadhwani, a business consultant in the US enjoys lovemaking moments with his wife through a web cam and feels that they can keep up their sex life alive using virtual means. "It may not be every night, but we try and come online as much as we can to enjoy some pleasurable moments. Surely we miss the physical 'touch,' but merely seeing each other and then enjoying our fantasies is an intoxicating feeling. She (my wife) was a little hesitant initially, but now even she is comfortable and we both enjoy this idea of virtual sex quite a lot," he shares.

Point to ponder: As long as it's between the two of you, there's no harm and you can enjoy sexual pleasure. Internet or web cameras may not be as safe as your physical relationship, so be vigilant about your acts and moves.

Recorded messages: Try sending your lover a taped love message or a CD that alternates between your conversation and some of your beloved's favourite songs. A software engineer by profession, Javeriah misses her husband a lot, who has gone abroad on a business project for two years. Stating that they talk frequently over phone, she adds, "There are endless things to talk about like family members, kids, relatives and other office happenings, but we rarely talk about 'us'. That's when I thought the best way was to record a tape and let him know what I felt. It had everything from how I felt when I saw other couples walking romantically or getting intimate publicly to sleeping alone in bed at night and missing him every moment. I knew the phone would surely ring as soon as he received this and it worked really well. During that call, we spoke about nothing else but about our love, romance and how much we missed each other."

Point to ponder: Mellow down your voice while recording a love message and let your partner hear your thoughts brimming with emotions. Both the message and your recorded voice must touch his heart and the feeling of passion should be clear and loud enough to ignite his senses.

MUHAMMAD MAHTAB BASHIR
mahtabbashir@gmail.com
Voice: 0300 52 56 875
ISLAMABAD

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