mahtab bashir, Islamabad

BREAKING UP HURTS just like PHYSICAL PAIN

2009-12-10T05:14:00.000-08:00

AFTER A MONTH... OF SPLIT!

Love really does hurt, according to scientists, who found that breaking up can cause physical pain. Researchers discovered a genetic link between physical pain and social rejection.

Muhabbat Mukhtasar bhi ho
To usko Bhool janay may
Umr sari beet jati hay!

Psychologists at the University of California in Los Angeles have discovered that the human body deals with emotional stress in exactly the same way that it reacts to physical pain - by releasing a natural painkiller.

Believe their findings suggest that the experience felt by people is the same regardless of whether their body is injured.

The researchers measured levels of a gene used by the body to regulating the painkillers.

Researchers collected saliva samples from 122 participants to assess which form of the OPRM1 pain gene they had and then measured how they reacted to different senarios.

First, participants completed a survey that measured their own sensitivity to rejection. They were asked, for example, how much they agreed or disagreed with statements like "I am very sensitive to any signs that a person might not want to talk to me."

Then the emotions of 31 people among the group were tested when they were excluded during a virtual ball-tossing computer game.

Prof Naomi Eisenberger, the study co-author, said this overlap of physical and social pain makes perfect sense.

She said: "Because social connection is so important, feeling literally hurt by not having social connections may be an adaptive way to make sure we keep them.

"Over the course of evolution, the social attachment system, which ensures social connection, may have actually borrowed some of the mechanisms of the pain system to maintain social connections."

The same portion of the brain that is responsible for the response to physical pain became activated as a result of social rejection, suggesting that, to our brains, emotions really can “hurt.”

Their study also indicates that a variation in the "pain gene" is related to how sensitive a person is to social rejection.

Prof Eisenberger said: "Individuals with the rare form of the pain gene, who were shown in previous work to be more sensitive to physical pain, also reported higher levels of rejection sensitivity and showed greater activity in social pain-related regions of the brain when they were excluded."

This is the first time that it has been proved that genes involved in physical pain are linked to mentally painful times like social rejection and breaking up with a lover, she said.

The findings back up a previous study by the University of Queensland that indicated that descriptions of the agony of rejection as like a knife being thrust into the heart are more than just metaphors.

Dr Geoff MacDonald said it is no coincidence that people across different cultures and languages use similar terms to describe physical pain and what it feels like to be rejected.

Courtesy Telegraph

CULTURAL COLOURS OF CHOLISTAN ...

2009-12-09T07:56:00.000-08:00

This news item published in Daily Times, Wednesday, Dec 09, 2009 is dedicated to one of my venerated friend belongs to Bahawalpur.

PNCA displays textile crafts of Bahawalpur
By Mahtab Bashir

ISLAMABAD: Southern Punjab has a distinguished tradition of arts and crafts, which its people have retained in spite of the passage of time. For centuries the Punjabis are making intricate needle work, woven fans and mats, handmade bed sheets and cushions and many more handy works to choose from.

To promote this indigenous handcrafted works and develop textile industries of Bahawalpur by involving local crafts people, especially women to provide economic empowerment of the area, Pakistan National Council of the Arts (PNCA) in collaboration with UNESCO and Punjab Small Industries Corporation (PSIC) on Tuesday held an exclusive exhibition of needle crafts from Bahawalpur at National Art Gallery (NAG).

Tauqir Nasir, PNCA, DG was the chief guest on the occasion, while Capt (r) Mazhar Hameed, Regional Manager (RM) Punjab Small Industries Corporation (PSIC) and UNESCO officials were also present on the occasion. However, because of deteriorating law and order situation, the gathering remained very thin.

The exhibition displayed the artwork by the artisans from remote areas of Southern Punjab region and in Particular from Bahawalpur. Cholistani hand fans, carpets, ladies suits (block prints with vegetable dyes), bed sheets (block prints with vegetable dyes), crinkle (cross stitch and Banarsi stitch), towels, table mats, ladies and men kurtay, cushions, table sheets, ladies suits (Zardozi, Tarakashi and thread embroidery), scarves, cotton men’s wear, handmade shoes, women’s wear (block print and Sussi), crinkle Chiffon (with Gota work), Sandwich covers, Bed sheets (traditional Ralli pattern in traditional colours and styles), and a wide range of Choli and Ghagra (tie and die) were put on display with price tags.

All handmade items especially the needle work on textile appreciated by a number of people, who considered it a symbol of Southern Punjab culture that is effectively used as a tool for poverty alleviation on one side and promotion and development of colourful culture on the other.

UNESCO director Tarja Virtanen, who was unable to attend the ceremony because of worsening law and order situation, in her speech read out on the occasion said that Pakistan has a tremendous potential to become a leading player in the cultural industries. “The country’s rich traditions in craft and design have delighted people through generations and have become sought after items of value in world markets,” Tarja said.

She said culture is a treasure, a resource commonly available to all and free of costs, and cannot be separated, as it is the identity of a region. “Whether it is the potter working on the roadside of GT Road or a woman of Cholistan laboring diligently on their needlework, one can not help noticing and marveling at the look of pride on their faces as they are no less than Sadequain, Guljee, or Anna Molka, when they spoke of their most cherished work. She said that Norway has given them additional funds to conduct pilot activities to demonstrate the value of cultural mapping in NWFP and Punjab under the title of ‘Mapping of Cultural Assets in NWFP and the Punjab’. “Our programmes on handicrafts or cultural industries are geared towards quality assurance and providing access to the artisans to potential markets, therefore we invariably link these activities with UNESCO Awards of Excellence Programme, to encourage crafts persons” Tarja said.

PNCA DG Tauqir Nasir said that this exhibition is all about the colours of Cholistan area that has its own rich culture and tradition. “Long ago, I visited Derawar Fort and Cholistan desert, and while spending my time there, I felt different modes of colours in its ambience. The colours ranging from soft to scarlet, everything reflected diversification of cultural richness of the region,” Nasir said.

For edited published version, please click on the link below
http://www.dailytimes.com.pk/default.asp?page=2009\12\09\story_9-12-2009_pg11_11

PAKISTAN'S WINDOW OF HOPE

2009-12-10T03:24:00.000-08:00

By Syed Talat Hussain

Much of Pakistan’s soft clout in Afghanistan in the coming months would be shaped by its ability to tag along with the world’s nation-building efforts. If Islamabad baulks at becoming a strong and willing partner in these, others would fill the gap

The American road-ahead policy presents Pakistan with a unique all-round policy opportunity to shape the strategic environment in Afghanistan, close festering sources of terrorism in tribal areas, and most crucially, regain broad-based clout with Washington. In other words, the ambitious multiple agenda the US has set for itself in Afghanistan, and partly also in the borders areas of Pakistan, provides exceptional room for Pakistan to make strong purposeful manoeuvres to earn solid diplomatic gains.

Take Afghanistan’s internal challenges first. Even though the US has lowered the bar for its nation-building stride, still it is committed to a tall order. In just under two years, endemic corruption has to be rooted out, drug lords’ formidable empire has to be torn down, and the economy has to be built-up and made self-sufficient. This is not all. In this tight time-frame, administrative efficiency has to reach a level where all of Afghanistan’s nearly 400 districts must have, in the words of General James Jones, the national security advisor, “economic development, good governance, and security”. Also included in the dreamland of benchmarks are “good and competent governors” for all the 34 provinces of the country.

It would be a miracle if even a fraction of this wish list comes true, especially by a weak and politically emaciated president whose second term election President Obama believes was marred by fraud. But Pakistan should resist the temptation of being the Jeremiah, the prophet of doom. Nor prepare to dance with vicarious joy in the event that the situation in Afghanistan defies Washington’s hopefulness. Instead it should, and seriously, partner in these efforts regardless of whether these are doomed to failure or destined for success. It is obvious that to make the first review of the progress in Afghanistan — in the middle of next year perhaps — a worthwhile exercise, the Obama administration will pull every stop to bring about visible change in all these indicators. Therefore, Washington is likely to be far more receptive to productive suggestions on pursuing its development agenda from other countries than it has been so far. Pakistan can step in with plans that enhance Afghans’ capacity to move in the right direction — infrastructure, education, agriculture, irrigation, basic science, technology, water management or many of the dozens of areas where it has expertise to proffer. Much of Pakistan’s soft clout in Afghanistan in the coming months would be shaped by its ability to tag along with the world’s nation-building efforts. If Islamabad baulks at becoming a strong and willing partner in these, others would fill the gap.

Helping rebuild the Afghan National Security Force, the army and the Afghan National Police, is another area Pakistan ought to eye for gaining goodwill and diplomatic ground in Afghanistan. Many of Islamabad’s objections to the conduct of the Afghan National Army (ANA) deployed on the border with Pakistan are sound. The ANA has lived up to its reputation of being a force viscerally hostile to Pakistan. Elements from the erstwhile Northern Alliance dominate the ANA. Its members are mostly Darri and Persian speaking. They have been trained over the past many years to mistreat Pashtuns, which is part of the problem in Afghanistan.

While this history makes them structurally inimical to Pakistan, the fact remains that for the Obama administration to build a truly national army, the institution’s ethnic imbalance shall have to be rectified. Pashtuns, former Taliban, even the personal armies of warlords, have to be integrated into the national army to become viable and take over responsibility of stabilising Afghanistan and paving the way for the start of the pull out of US troops. It is not known yet how much Washington would be willing to allow the Pakistan army to team up in efforts to train the ANA. However, for an Afghan force to be functional and effective in the south and the east of Afghanistan, its ethnic composition has to be such that Pakistan’s contribution to its training must be welcomed in any serious effort in building it up along strong durable lines.

At any rate, Pakistan must make a solid gesture on this project: ditto should be done on Afghan police reforms. Remember, Pakistan cannot afford to be left out of the efforts to create institutions that would play a critical role in defining Afghanistan’s trajectory in the coming months. Also, international confidence that an Afghan national security force has come of age will help endorse Pakistan’s long-standing argument that the prospects of durable peace are inversely related to foreign troop level in Afghanistan. They will have to leave for peace to be fully restored and the Afghan resistance to be neutralised politically. Then there is the issue of safe havens inside North Waziristan and the presence of the Quetta Shura in Balochistan. On the face of it, the room for agreement between Washington and Islamabad is the least on this benchmark. US officials believe removing these sanctuaries is the first and foremost task to bring about a strategic shift in violence in Afghanistan.

Members of Pakistan’s military and intelligence establishment see the ‘safe havens’ refrain a stratagem Washington and its allies use to hide their long and spectacular military failure inside Afghanistan to stem the rising tide of the resistance. Beneath this mutual recrimination, however, lies the hard fact that Pakistan and the US have consistently cooperated with each other in combating cross-border movement of the Taliban. Their military operations, not always conceived in perfect harmony, have seen both parties alternately play the hammer and the anvil to smash and squeeze the militants moving across. In the last surge-related operation in Helmand, Pakistan ended up sealing a long stretch of the border with Afghanistan to disallow any spillover effect. A much deeper and wider cooperation will be required to manage far bigger and bloodier operations in the coming weeks.

It is in Pakistan’s core national interest to ensure that safe havens do not become Washington’s excuse for pinning the blame for poor performance in the battles with the Taliban on us. It also serves Pakistan’s paramount security concerns that the wild militant groups in the tribal belt are brought under the heel. The new and vicious wave of urban terrorism has rendered useless the distinction between North and South Waziristan militancy. Government officials themselves admit that much of this terrorism is now flowing out of Mir Ali. This is where Wali ur Rehman, Hakeemullah Mehsud and the other big fish are. Cleaning up this area is critical to making operation Rah-e-Nijat relevant to securing the people from the game of death the terrorists are playing. A hard hit at these safe havens will also take the US pressure off Pakistan and give Islamabad and Washington time to plan about the Quetta Shura.

Pakistani policy makers have a substantial window of opportunity to make wise choices — something they did not do when George W Bush and his neo-con cabal were sending forces into Afghanistan. Pervez Musharraf’s thoughtlessness landed the country in a heap of unintended problems. This nation cannot afford a repeat of a similar mistake now that Washington is seriously thinking about going home.

The writer is a leading Pakistani journalist who is ‘serious and committed’ in media industry of Pakistan

Courtesy Daily Times, Thursday December 10, 2009

WANTED: LEADERS WITH INTEGRITY

2009-12-09T07:48:00.000-08:00

Wanted: leaders with integrity
By Andleeb Abbas

You only feel humiliated if you have the capacity to feel. The egos of our politicians are so big that they have blinded them to their own reality. They do not see the rightful and do not feel the painful

Leaders with integrity are an endangered species in Pakistan; in fact they are almost on the verge of extinction. The painful process of seeing the same faces shamelessly denying proven facts, making promises which are broken as a matter of routine, and continuing to use and abuse their political positions has become an agony the public can no longer bear. The fact that the president of this country has merrily and unabashedly announced that his position gives him amnesty despite the lapsing of the National Reconciliation Ordinance (NRO) is an admission of the fact that his title is the only thing saving him from prosecution; this ‘exemplary’ leadership has set the pattern for many of his ministers to follow.

Politics and politicians in this country have become a joke; you really do not know whether to laugh or cry at the totally bizarre character and behaviour of the majority of the politicians around. They rant raucously, they lie unscrupulously and they cheat ruthlessly. Here is how the politician eligibility criteria goes in Pakistan: to qualify for a seat of power, your major qualifications are a graduate certificate from nowhere; you need to have tonnes of experience in hoodwinking, law breaking and leg pulling; your major skills are a fierce determination to put your self-interest above the interest of all else and a ferocious dedication to prove that wrong is right. Being insensitive and callous are of course bonus traits that will ensure your survival under the most penetrative and conclusive media attacks on your performance and behaviour (our Minister of Interior has abundantly proven how sans heart and soul he is while repeating again and again that “it is not possible to stop these terrorists” and thus advises patience to people who see their loved ones being massacred haplessly). Some additional pluses are their unbounded potential and talent at mudslinging and character assassination of all who oppose them; such abusive retaliatory powers will win you accolades from your party leaders; their personal integrity should be zero while their professional corruptibility should be hundred percent. With this lethal combination of qualification, experience and skills, you stand a very bright chance of coming into parliament again and again as every time you are in power you enhance these qualifications to a level where you become a veteran of politics at its filthiest.

The crowning glory for these highly eligible individuals is the NRO. The NRO is like an ISO-9000 certification for corruption of the highest quality level. The NRO list shows a total of 8,041 people. 7,793 high ups from Sindh have benefitted from the NRO, promulgated by former president Pervez Musharraf on October 5, 2007.

The NRO is a distinguished list. Befittingly, the leader of the country is leading the list from the front. From the SGS and Cotecna, to ARY Gold, to Pakistan Steel Mills, to the Awami Tractor Scheme, the president has really led the way.

Following suit are prominent leaders like Interior Minister Rehman Malik, Defence Minister Chaudhry Ahmed Mukhtar, Nawab Yousuf Talpur, Mir Baz Khetran, Sindh provincial minister Agha Siraj Durrani and Senator Jehangir Badar, Salman Farooqi, secretary-general to the president, Pakistan’s Ambassador in Washington Hussain Haqqani and Wajid Shamsul Hasan, High Commissioner to the United Kingdom are all in line for this unique honour.

The MQM is the second highest accused party. Altaf Hussain had 72 cases against him, including 31 on murder and 11 on attempt to murder charges. Dr Farooq Sattar, the MQM’s parliamentary leader, occupied the second slot. A total of 23 cases were withdrawn against him, including five on charges of murder and four on attempt to murder. The third biggest beneficiary appeared to be provincial minister Shoaib Bukhari of the MQM, against whom 21 cases were withdrawn, including 16 on murder and attempt to murder charges. The PML-N also figures in this illustrious list but is overshadowed by the above two stalwart parties.

In any other country such horrifying exposure would have resulted in resignations and perhaps suicides. In the recent MPA expense scandal in London, from the speaker to the accused MPAs, all resigned; though in many cases the allegations did not amount to more than a few thousand pounds, the humiliation was too much for them to take. But you only feel humiliated if you have the capacity to feel. The egos of our politicians are so big that they have blinded them to their own reality. They do not see the rightful and do not feel the painful.

It is time for justice to take its turn. The judiciary should ensure that they shake the complacence of these alleged wrongdoers and once for all change the belief of this nation that in politics one has to compromise on character and integrity. You may compromise on style and procedures, you may sacrifice on processes and practices, but you can never compromise on principles and values. What we need are leaders with integrity, leaders with dignity, leaders with courage, leaders with conviction, leaders with vision and leaders with passion. This is a nation which came into being due to leaders of integrity and this is a nation which will once again rise and shine due to people of such character. Integrity maybe a rare commodity but not an extinct reality. Let us ensure that this human minority overrules the inhuman majority.

The writer is a consultant and CEO of Franklin Covey.

Courtesy Daily Times, Dec 09, 2009

THERE’S A HOLE, IN MY SOUL

2009-11-15T07:30:00.000-08:00

By Mahtab Bashir
mahtabbashir@gmail.com
Islamabad

Hay tukray tukray dil ki tarah, dastaan-e-dil
Kuch lab pay, kuch zubaan pay, kuch chashm-e-tar may hay

So Much Anguish- how could someone cause me so much twinge, she made me virtually insane. I am only me when I was with her and now … it's hard to be myself...I just tried to want her to see the good in me, but I failed on every moment.

I was born the day I met you,
Lived a while when you loved me,
And died a bit when we broke apart.

I still remember, the first time we met... And when she sang to me I swear I could fly...I was the true admirer of her voice, I distinctly remember, at our early days and thereafter, she used to hum one of my all time favourite lines of a song and later I invited her time and again to please, sing few lines of it… “Kaisay… Bhooloon gi …Tu Yaad Hamesha Aay Ga- Teray … Janay Say…, Jeena Mushkil Ho Jaay Ga …….” Aor may itna pagal - kay in 2 lines may chupay itnay baray ishary ko kabhi samjh hi na paya… balkay hamesha jab hum kabhi achay mood may hotay to may isi song ki request karta, and she never skipped my request, never did she decline any of others. I miss her, like hell- that’s it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTssV0zZfhQ

Main Hosh Mein Tha To Phir Uss Pe Mar Gaya Kaise
Ye Zehar Maire Lahoo Mein Uter Gaya Kaisay
Kuch UsKe Dil Mein Lagaawat Zaroor Thi Warna
Woh Maira Haath Daba Ker Guzar Gaya Kaisay

Now, memories are biting me- I’m devastated as my heart still is sinking. She made me realize it could be life, and its all about pain.

SWANSONG TO MY DEAREST!
I know its not your fault. May teri majboorion ko samjhta hun dear. May shyaed tujhay samjh hi nahi paya- may fail ho gia hun, or wo bhi zindagi ki early stages par. Please forgive me for everything I did wrong, for every word that hurt you. I found you more sensible, mature and ‘practical’ on every phase of life and as a human being, you are unparallel. I feel mortified- may teray kisi kam nahi a saka, kisi bhi aik kam- I’m so sorry dear. This is life, and this is how life plays its part. And this is what you keep on inserting into my mind.

I have just a qualm saying that how a sensible person who knows everything under the sun, fall prey to a paranormal feelings, knowing well this is not a realistic approach. I remember, when I was told repeatedly to come out of this non-practical move and take life seriously as it should be. And to add insult to my injuries, the person herself fall victim of it- ignoring the future prospect. I know, you took a long to made your verdict, but being a female and head of family, i doubt it was a wise decision taken in broader spectrum. Anyways…. I am not at all pleading to get someone back!!!

I believe, If you break up with someone, it is only because there is someone else waiting for you, and that’s what you told me, on a midnight of Tuesday, November 10. Now from hereon I just want to conclude with tears in my eyes that …….. I never felt true love until I was with you, and I never felt true sadness until you left me. Now it's hard to start all over again and find a new love and a friend like you… You are unforgettable! May Allah Almighty diminish your desolations of today and forever.

All the very best, I bear no retribution whatsoever. You have your right to pick, choose or ignore, and now you have made your decisions- and rightly so because its your life. Enjoy it …

God bless you dear!

Kuch may hi jaanta hoon, jo mujh par guzar gai
Dunia to lutf lay gi meray wakiyaat say.

AN EVENING AT LAHORE

Barish thi, hum thay, or ghani ho rahi thi shaam
Tumnay lia tha kanptaay honto say mera naam
Mainay kaha tha, Ao yunhi bheegtay chalain
In rasto may dair talak ghoomtay rahein
Meri kamar may haath ye phoolon sa daal kar
Kaandhay pay meray, rakhay raho yunhi apna sir
Haatho ko may kabhi, kabhi baloo ko choom loon
Dekho meri taraf to may ankhoo ko choom loon
Pani kay ye jo phool hein, rukh par khilay huay
In mein dhanak ky rang hain saaray ghulay huay
Honto sy inko chuntay rahein, khushdili kay saath
Taaray hamain talaash karain, chaandni kay saath
Yunhi kisi darkht ky neechay kharay rahein
Barish kay deir baad bhi, liptay kharay rahein

Tum nay kaha tha, Ao chalein- raat aa gai
Dil jis say dar raha hay, wohi baat aa gai
Beetay samay ki yaad hi, rasto may reh na jay
Ye dil kahein wisaal ki barish may beh na jay

Kuch deir, aik chup si rahi darmiyaan may
Girhein si jaisay, parnay lagi hon zubaan may
Tum pechay hatnay wali thi, jaany ky wastay
Ankhein jhuka rahi thi, churaany ky wastay
Yakdam gira tha phool, koi shaakhsaar say
Dekha tha tum nay meri taraf, iztaraar say
Baarish may bheegtay huay, jhonkay hawa ky thay
Wo chand begumaan sy lamhay, balaa ky thay
Nashaa sa aik chaaron taraf phailta gia
Phir uskay baad mainay, tumhay kuch nahi kaha.

Dard Mein Bhi Yeh Lab Muskuraa Jaaty Hain
Beetay Lamhay Hamein Jab Bhi Yaad Aaty Hain …
Beetay Lamhay …….

Chandd Lamhaaat Ke Waastay Hi Sahi
Muskuraa kar Mili Thi Mujhay zindagi
Teri Aaghosh Mein Din Thay Mery Katay
Teri Baahon Mein Thi Meri Raat Kati

Aaj Bhi Jab Woh Pal Mujhko Yaad Aaty Hain
Dil Se Saaray Ghamon Ko Bhula Jaatay Hain

Dard Mein Bhi Yeh Lab Muskura Jaaty Hain
Beete Lamhein Hamein Jab Bhi Yaad Aaty Hain …
Beetay Lamhay …

Mery Kaandhy Pe Sir Ko Jhukaana Tera
Mere Sinay Mein Khud Ko Chhupaana Tera …
Aakay Meri Panaahon Mein Shaam-o-Sehar
Kaanch Ki Tarah Woh Toot Jaana Tera

Aaj Bhi Jab Woh Manzar Nazar Aaty Hain
Dil Ki Viraaniyon Ko Mita Jaaty Hain
Dard Mein Bhi Yeh Lab Muskura Jaatay Hain
Beete Lamhay Hamein Jab Bhi Yaad Aaty Hain …

Dard Mein….
Beetay Lamhay …….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IN1ghcJcPwc

Dost kiya khoob wafaaon ka sila detay hein
Har naay mor pay ik zakhm naya detay hein

Tumsay to kheir ghari bhar ki mulakaat rahi
Log sadiyon ki rafaqat ko bhula detay hein

Jinpay hota hay bohat dil ko bharosa Tablish
Waqt parnay pay wohi log dagha detay hien.

Goodbye to you, my trusted friend.
We've known each other since we're nine or ten.
Together we climbed hills or trees.
Learned of love and ABC's,
skinned our hearts and skinned our knees.
Goodbye my friend, it's hard to die,
when all the birds are singing in the sky,
Now that the spring is in the air.
Pretty girls are everywhere.
When you see them I'll be there.

We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun.
But the hills that we climbed
were just seasons out of time.
Goodbye, Papa, please pray for me,
I was the black sheep of the family.
You tried to teach me right from wrong.
Too much wine and too much song,
wonder how I get along.
Goodbye, Papa, it's hard to die
when all the birds are singing in the sky,
Now that the spring is in the air.
Little children everywhere.
When you see them I'll be there.
We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun.
But the wine and the song,
like the seasons, all have gone.

Goodbye, S****, my little one.
You gave me love and helped me find the sun.
And every time that I was down
you would always come around
and get my feet back on the ground.
Goodbye, S****, it's hard to die
when all the bird are singing in the sky,
Now that the spring is in the air
With the flowers everywhere
I whish that we could both be there.

We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun.
But the stars we could reach
were just starfish on the beach
Courtesy Terry Jacks (Re-sung by Westlife)

Kis da dosh si, kis da nahi si
Ay gallan hun karan diyan nahi
Weilay lag gay taoba walay
Rataan hokay bharan diyan nahi

Jo hoya, aay hona e si,
Tay honi rokiyaan rukdi nahi
Ik wari jadon shuru ho jaway
Gall feir awein mukdi nahi

Kujh unjwi rahwaan okhiyaan san
Kujh gall wich gham da taoq wi si
Kujh shehar day lok wi zalim san
Kujh sanu maran da shaoq wi si

Guzashta chahtoon ka dukh hawa mein sar-sraeay to

Koi bhoola hua lamha achanak yaad aye to

Tum apnay dil ka veraana bohat abaad kar lena

Mujhay tum yaad kr lena, mujhay tum yaad kr lena

Khealon kay mundairoon par koi mash'al jalaay to

Baharon ka koi mausam tumhaein wapis bulaay to

Mery yaadon ki khushboo say wafa ko shaad kr lena

Mujhay tum yaad kr lena, mujhay tum yaad kr lena!

Muhammad Mahtab Bashir

03005256875

03335363248

mahtabbashir@gmail.com

Islamabad

HELLO GAYS…Here’s not a gay news for you!

2009-12-05T06:05:00.000-08:00

Gays 'will never go to heaven': cardinal

VATICAN CITY — Homosexuals and transsexuals "will never enter the kingdom of heaven", a leading Roman Catholic cardinal said on Wednesday (December 2).

Cardinal Javier Lozano Barragan said that while the Church regarded homosexuality as an "insult to God", this did not justify discrimination against gay and transsexual people.

"Transsexuals and homosexuals will never enter the kingdom of heaven and it is not me who says this, but Saint Paul," the cardinal said, in comments reported by the Ansa news agency.

"People are not born homosexual, they become homosexual, for different reasons: education issues or because they did not develop their own identity during adolescence. It may not be their fault, but acting against nature and the dignity of the human body is an insult to God," he said.

Barragan, the retired head of the Vatican's Council for Pastoral Assistance to Health Care Workers, quoted a passage from Paul's epistle to the Romans which speaks of "men committing indecent acts with other men".

"Homosexuality is therefore a sin, but this does not justify any form of discrimination. God alone has the right to judge," the cardinal said.

"We on earth cannot condemn, and as human beings we all have the same rights."

AFP

FAILURE DOESN'T MEAN.......

2009-11-26T08:11:00.000-08:00

While reading a book named “Tough Times Never Last but Tough People Do”, by Robert H. Schuller, I found something interesting about the people who are afraid of failure. I would love to share this to my dear worthy readers.

Hein Talkhiay safar say bohat tang par Munir/ Ghar ko palat hi jain gay, aisay bhi hum nahi

Mahtab Bashir
mahtabbashir@gmail.com
03335363248
03005256875
Islamabad

* Failure doesn't mean you are a failure . . . it does mean you haven't succeeded yet.

* Failure doesn't mean you have accomplished nothing . . . it does mean you have learned something.

* Failure doesn't mean you have been a fool . . . it does mean you had a lot of faith.

* Failure doesn't mean you have been disgraced . . . it does mean you were willing to try.

* Failure doesn't mean you don't have it . . . it does mean you have to do something in a different way.

* Failure doesn't mean you are inferior . . . it does mean you are not perfect.

* Failure doesn't mean you've wasted your life . . . it does mean you have a reason to start afresh.

* Failure doesn't mean you'll never make it . . . it does mean it will take a little longer.

* Failure doesn't mean God has abandoned you . . . it does mean God has a better idea?

Tough Times Never Last, But Tough People Do -- Robert Schuller

WOMEN FEEL MOST ATTRACTIVE AT 32

2009-11-26T07:49:00.000-08:00

Looking like a fresh-faced twenty-something is, apparently, not all it’s cracked up to be.

Research reveals four out of ten women feel at their most beautiful at the age of 32.

The survey of British women aged between 40 and 60 found a fifth picked 40 as the age they felt happiest with their looks.

The 38 per cent who said they felt most attractive in their early thirties attributed it to the confidence gained from experience, an active love life and eating and drinking sensibly.

Celebrities who will be blowing out 32 candles this year – and no doubt feeling quite relaxed about their appearance – include model Sophie Dahl and actresses Liv Tyler and Sarah Michelle Gellar.

Psychologist Dr Sandra Wheatley said the findings were a ‘very encouraging’ sign women valued their achievements as well as their looks.

She added: ‘It sounds to me like women are becoming much more swayed by personality.
‘It’s a sign that we are valued for who we are and what we are capable of, not just what is on the surface.

‘Feeling beautiful is tied in with confidence and life experience.

‘At 32, a woman has been through and survived more experiences and achieved more than at 22.

‘Women can be their own worst enemy, scrutinising each other’s weight and wrinkles.
‘But this is a really encouraging study that beauty is more than skin deep.’
The online survey of 1,500 women was carried out by Willow Water, the bottled water brand which claims to improve the skin’s appearance.

Courtesy Mail

PURPLE PATCH

2009-11-24T07:14:00.000-08:00

Dream psychology
By Sigmund Freud

In what we may term “pre-scientific days” people were in no uncertainty about the interpretation of dreams. When they were recalled after awakening they were regarded as either the friendly or hostile manifestation of some higher powers, demoniacal and Divine. With the rise of scientific thought the whole of this expressive mythology was transferred to psychology; to-day there is but a small minority among educated persons who doubt that the dream is the dreamer’s own psychical act.

But since the downfall of the mythological hypothesis an interpretation of the dream has been wanting. The conditions of its origin; its relationship to our psychical life when we are awake; its independence of disturbances which, during the state of sleep, seem to compel notice; its many peculiarities repugnant to our waking thought; the incongruence between its images and the feelings they engender; then the dream’s evanescence, the way in which, on awakening, our thoughts thrust it aside as something bizarre, and our reminiscences mutilating or rejecting it — all these and many other problems have for many hundred years demanded answers which up till now could never have been satisfactory. Before all there is the question as to the meaning of the dream, a question which is in itself double-sided. There is, firstly, the psychical significance of the dream, its position with regard to the psychical processes, as to a possible biological function; secondly, has the dream a meaning — can sense be made of each single dream as of other mental syntheses?

Three tendencies can be observed in the estimation of dreams. Many philosophers have given currency to one of these tendencies, one which at the same time preserves something of the dream’s former over-valuation. The foundation of dream life is for them a peculiar state of psychical activity, which they even celebrate as elevation to some higher state. Schubert, for instance, claims: “The dream is the liberation of the spirit from the pressure of external nature, a detachment of the soul from the fetters of matter.” Not all go so far as this, but many maintain that dreams have their origin in real spiritual excitations, and are the outward manifestations of spiritual powers whose free movements have been hampered during the day (“Dream Phantasies”, Scherner, Volkelt). A large number of observers acknowledge that dream life is capable of extraordinary achievements—at any rate, in certain fields (“Memory”).

In striking contradiction with this the majority of medical writers hardly admit that the dream is a psychical phenomenon at all. According to them dreams are provoked and initiated exclusively by stimuli proceeding from the senses or the body, which either reach the sleeper from without or are accidental disturbances of his internal organs. The dream has no greater claim to meaning and importance than the sound called forth by the ten fingers of a person quite unacquainted with music running his fingers over the keys of an instrument. The dream is to be regarded, says Binz, “as a physical process always useless, frequently morbid.” All the peculiarities of dream life are explicable as the incoherent effort, due to some physiological stimulus, of certain organs, or of the cortical elements of a brain otherwise asleep.

But slightly affected by scientific opinion and untroubled as to the origin of dreams, the popular view holds firmly to the belief that dreams really have got a meaning, in some way they do foretell the future, whilst the meaning can be unravelled in some way or other from its oft bizarre and enigmatical content. The reading of dreams consists in replacing the events of the dream, so far as remembered, by other events. This is done either scene by scene, according to some rigid key, or the dream as a whole is replaced by something else of which it was a symbol. Serious-minded persons laugh at these efforts — “Dreams are but sea-foam!”

One day I discovered to my amazement that the popular view grounded in superstition, and not the medical one, comes nearer to the truth about dreams. I arrived at new conclusions about dreams by the use of a new method of psychological investigation, one which had rendered me good service in the investigation of phobias, obsessions, illusions, and the like, and which, under the name “psycho-analysis,” had found acceptance by a whole school of investigators. The manifold analogies of dream life with the most diverse conditions of psychical disease in the waking state have been rightly insisted upon by a number of medical observers. It seemed, therefore, a priori, hopeful to apply to the interpretation of dreams methods of investigation which had been tested in psychopathological processes. Obsessions and those peculiar sensations of haunting dread remain as strange to normal consciousness as do dreams to our waking consciousness; their origin is as unknown to consciousness as is that of dreams. It was practical ends that impelled us, in these diseases, to fathom their origin and formation. Experience had shown us that a cure and a consequent mastery of the obsessing ideas did result when once those thoughts, the connecting links between the morbid ideas and the rest of the psychical content, were revealed which were heretofore veiled from consciousness. The procedure I employed for the interpretation of dreams thus arose from psychotherapy.

This procedure is readily described, although its practice demands instruction and experience. Suppose the patient is suffering from intense morbid dread. He is requested to direct his attention to the idea in question, without, however, as he has so frequently done, meditating upon it. Every impression about it, without any exception, which occurs to him should be imparted to the doctor.

Sigmund Freud was an Austrian neurologist who founded the psychoanalytic school of psychology. He is best known for his theories of the unconscious mind and the defence mechanism of repression and for creating the clinical practice of psychoanalysis for treating psychopathology through dialogue between a patient and a psychoanalyst

SLAVE OF MEMORIES

2008-03-14T02:31:00.002-07:00

I wish you’re a gurgling little butterfly
I may capture you and have utmost fun
I wish you’re an exotic flower
I may put you in pages of my book
I wish you’re a precious little gem
I may have a garland around my neck

But you’re neither of it all
You’re like flowing water
You’re like a flying bird
You’re like a blowing wind
You’re like a flourishing memory
How can I seize you

You bewitched me under all suspects
O’ my memories! O’ past time!
You’ve made me your obedient slave
Please unleash me from your magic.

Published in weekly MAG, Nov 08-14, 2003, US magazine, The News.

Muhammad Mahtab Bashir
mahtabbashir@gmail.com

ISLAMABAD

SWEET LIKE SUGAR...

2009-11-13T04:52:00.000-08:00

By Mahtab Bashir
mahtabbashir@yahoo.com
Islamabad
03005256875

After hitting the domestic users hard, the sugar crisis has now hit the non-confectionery corporate sectors of Islamabad as well.

Many offices have started serving sugar-less tea including Daily Times Islamabad office to their employees. The effected beings are in severe pain as their taste buds are howling and bawling for sweetness. It is only a matter of time till the effected, sugar-deprived tongues will remain silent over this issue. However, Mahtab doesn’t need spoonful of sugar because of the naked truth, - ‘He is too sweet to have it’.

Islamabad—The scarcity of sugar in twin cities has increased the miseries of people and forced them to import sugar from other cities, people said.

People complained that no sugar available in the markets of Shakrial, Bahara Kahu, Chak Shezad, Rawal Town, Chatha Bakhtawar, Aabpara and in Super Market.

People said regarding the sugar crises that people of twin cities are facing problem from last many days. The merchants of different areas said that the system of supply and demand is deranged in twin cities.

HI5 from JON ELIA

2009-11-08T06:05:00.000-08:00

Remembering Jon Elia-

(December 14, 1931 - November 8, 2002)

A Perfect Stranger & a giant amongst his contemporaries

on his 5th death Anniversary- November 2009

Mahtab Bashir

mahtabbashir@gmail.com

03335363248

Tum jab ao gi to khoya hua pao gi mujhay
Meri tanhai mein khwaboon kay siwa kuch bhi nahi
Meray kamray ko sajaanay ki tamanna hay tumhay
Meray kamray may kitabo kay siwa kuch bhi nahi.

In kitabo nay bara zulm kia hay mujh par
In may ik ramz hay, jis ramz ka maara hua zehn
Mushda-e-ishrat-e-anjaam nahi paa sakta
Zindagi may kabhi araam nahi paa sakta.

BE-ASBAAT
Kis ko fursat, kay mujhsay behas karay
Aor sabit karay kay mera wujood
Zindagi kayliye zaroori hay.

Saari dunia kay gham hamaaray hein
Aor sitam ye ky hum tumhaaray hein

Dil-e-barbaad ye kheyaal rahay
Uss nay gesoo nahi sanwarein hein

Un rafeeqon sy sharam ati hay
Jo mera saath dey kay haaray hein

Aor to humnay kia kiya abtak
Ye kiya hay kay din guzarein hein

Uss gali sy jo ho kay aay ho
Ab to wo rahrao bhi piyaary hein

Jon jum zindagi ki rahon mein
Aapni tanha rawi ky maaray hein.

Kaon sood-o-ziyaan ki dunia mein
Dard-e-ghurbat ka saath deta hay
Jab mukabil hon ishq aor daolat
Husn daolat ka saath deta hay.

Umr guzray gi imtihaan mein kia
Daagh hi dein gi mujhko daan mein kia

Meri har baat be-asar hi rahi
Nuqs hay kuch meray bayaan mein kia

Mujhko to koi tokta bhi nahi
Yahi hota hay khandaan mein kia

Apni mehroomiyan choopatay hein
Hum ghareebon ki aanbaan mein kia

Khud ko jana juda zamaanay say
Aa gia tha meray gumaan mein kia

Shaam hi sy dukaan-e-deed hy bandd
Nahein nuqsaan tak dukaan mein kia

Aye meray subh-o-shaam-e-dil ki shafaq
Tu nahaati hay abb bhi baan mein kia

Boltay kion nahi meray haq mein
Aablay par gay zubaan mein kia.

Khamoshi keh rahi hay kaan mein kia
Aa raha hay meray gumaan mein kia

Dil kay aatay hein jisko dhiyaan bohat
Khud bhi aata hay apnay dhiyaan mein kia

Wo milay to ye poochna hay mujhay
Aab bhi hoon mAin teri amaan mein kia

Yoon jo takta hay aasmaan ko tu
Koi rehta hay aasmaan mein kia

Hay naseem-e-bahaar gard alood
Khaaq urti hay uss maqaan mein kia

Ye mujhay chaein kion nahi parta
Aik hi shaks tha jahaan mein kia.

WHEN MY SIM WAS BLOCKED.......

2008-06-25T13:29:00.000-07:00

By Mahtab Bashir

mahtabbashir@yahoo.com

It was the most embarrassing moments of my life while standing at Sales & Customer Center of one of the leading mobile phone connection provider of the country. My cell phone was mute during the whole day as it never was since half decade ago when I got this connection. Since then, I have never changed my cell Number no matter it is available on dirt-cheap rates from different connection provider companies displayed on different places from shops to carts.

Being a shy off boy- especially against the girls, I felt in hot water, when I told customer center representative that I didn't receive even a single miss-call from last 2 days. She enquired the Number of my cell phone, she was told confidently and her prompt reply was, "sorry sir! Your number is blocked on indictment of miss-use and making obnoxious calls." She said to me with eyeball-to-eyeball contact in intermingle words of Urdu-English with a strange smile on her face. I wanted to leave that place as soon as I heard that… as the word "obnoxious" means more then death to me. Misuse? Obnoxious calls? Are you sure you entered the right No? I wanted to repeat the digits of my cell number, I asked her in faint voice. Yes sir, I'm sure, she replied hurriedly. Please tell me how can you help me in unblocking my number, now? I wanted to make the last question with innocence at my extreme. She told me, "sorry sir, I can not help u here, u will have to visit our main office". Is it at Blue area, I asked, yes absolutely. Ok thank you very much. And I left that place with perspiration flowing down to my temple even in the presence of split air conditioner running on 15 C'.

Within a few seconds, I was on my way to blue area office with the feelings that I will have to repeat the same sorry story to persons there.. Oh my Lord!
As I pierced through the doors, an attractive lady greeted me, I told her precisely why I'm here for before she provided me a ticket No of my turn. My brain however never stopped thinking, what should I say to customer services representative? I peeped around on different counters of the outlet with prayers on my lips, "O Lord, please make my turn on any male representative's counter". It was not because I admitted my boo-boo because I am afraid of girls but I know well, I won't felt comfortable expressing my 'gloomy tale'. My prayer was not heard. "Ticket No. 164, please come at the counter No.5" a lady's voice broke the silence. Before I moved forward, I glanced who is on the counter, male or female? It's female again.

I started of speaking well ahead of that lady before she asked me the reason of my visit. "Well… before telling you this, I want to share a back ground of my story, madam", I said. Sure, sir, please, she stared at me and said. "A couple of days before, one of my intimate friend requested me to give him my sim card to use a package with the name of Ladies first starting from 11 pm with the rate of Rs. 5/ hour. I generously gave him as I was engaged at night in making my official assignments. And he went away with massive thanks. Next morning, I inserted my sim card back to my hand set. After few minutes, I received an sms from you people to avoid blocking my No as it is caught with making obnoxious calls. I was stunned over it for a few minutes. Later, at evening time, I met up to the same friend and asked him whether he misused my number with the firm believe that he spend time on making calls to wrong persons especially to some of girls. He replied plainly, No I never used your No. on any girl. Are you sure, I asked. Yes, trust on me dear, he replied to convince me. Alright, then how this SMS came my way? I don't know, he said. Ok it doesn't matter. Next night again, same friend of mine requested for the same cause and I repeated my act. And the next morning, I was happy not to receive any SMS of same nature with NOT TO GIVE MY SIM even to this friend for the third time. And I did not get any SMS neither any call since evening. AT evening time, I went to one of my other close friend's house to accompany him for a regular walk. Before we stated our long walk, he asked me, I tried to contact you thousands time but every time I got the answer, "the No you have dialed is not responding at the moment, please try later". Why it is off? I swiftly put my hand to my pocket and get my cell phone out of it. NO dear, its On. Then why I got the same reply time and again? Wait wait.. let me check… I put OFF my mobile phone and again put that ON. Now try again… Nahi yar mahtab… it's the same answer. Give me, let me check, now I took his phone and made the call with my cell phone in my other hand. Now I'm confirmed, there's something wrong. My SIM is blocked? O God. I covered all the walking period with the same question in my mind, Ab kia ho ga? Kaisay unblock ho gi? Mainay to kisi ko uskay kehnay kay bawjood kabhi call nahi ki, log to mujhay kanjoosi ka tana denay lagay thay, because I hardly made any calls even to my dear ones'. Phie how it can be possible kay may obnoxious call karoon? Anywayz…

The girl representative told me, "sir, you have been warned through SMS already. I know she is right as I got SMS but I want to hide my mortification and I lied, No madam, ..... I didn't get any. "Its YOUR RESPONSIBILITY NOT TO GIVE YOUR SIM CARD TO ANY PERSON. Now u will have to submit a hand written application and it may take 24 hours in process." Now I feel she was in bad mood as she thought im the real culprit. OK maim, thank you. I submitted the application on the same counter to the same girl with sheer degradation.

On the very same night, I came across with the same friend of mine. Before I shared him the whole story, he said… "yar mahtab… thank you so much… mainay jazz No. ki nai sim apnay paiso say lay li hay. Thanx again". I said to him, oh… to yar pehlay hi lay leni thi. Bus yar mainay kaha jin paisao say SIM leni thi ..kion na un paison say easyload karwa kay 5 Rupay may ghanta bat hi kar li jay, came his reply. I said ok dear, enjoy. He said… Oye mahtab …100 Rupay may li hay mainay. And I said, hmm ok……….., SIM to 100-150 may a jati hay, but can you pay the price of one's honour, sanctity, ego, or integrity? Can you? And he was smiling.

P.S: it's over 24 hours but my same beloved No. not yet being restored, but I hope it would be restored earlier then Iftikhar Muhammad Choudhry, the CJP.

-mahtab
Islamabad-
cell No. 0321-5048975

Masood Bhai from Yangon, Mayanmar comments':
Jun 30, 2008 2:32 PM
Dear Mahtab,
AOA
Hope everything is fine and OK at your end. We are well here.
I am receiving your articles regularly and after reading and marking the minor grammatical / typing mistakes, I keep them in my draw, but today's article has compelled me to write something.
It is beyond my senses that how you gave your SIM to your INTIMATE friend. This incident, as you said, was not of money but was of credibility, sanctity, ego etc. but it is now my considered opinion that in Pakistan, nobody cares about these things, even your own relatives or close friends. Your "intimate" friend and "Heera" are the recent examples.
Anyway… I cannot imagine that a reasonable person like you can handover the SIM to others and think that it will not be misused, repeating the same second time even after receiving the SMS. I feel that the punishment you got was very little, they should refuse to open the SIM. Don't you know "Pakistanis" what they do with others whether in Pakistan or abroad.
I must request you to be careful, rather avoid such intimate friends. Don't repeat the same in future as
"Momin" Aik sorakh say do bar nahi dasa jata
Baqi all Ok here. How are the news at your end.

WHEN YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH TWO...

2009-09-17T11:55:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wondered why at times, some of us are attracted to two people at the same time?

You may be happy (or not) in your relationship, when you suddenly find yourself being drawn to another person — it could be an emotional entanglement or physical attraction.

According to relationship counsellor, Dr Minnu Bhonsle, often a person who finds themselves drawn to two people, is one whose certain desires are being satisfied by one person and certain other desires are being satisfied by another person. Giving up one means giving up some of those desires, which they aren’t prepared to do. “More often than not, this problem arises when one looks at a relationship, based purely on one’s own gratification (I-centric), instead of a mutually shared partnership (we-centric) where the relationship, the ‘we’, the ‘us’ is valued and where healthy negotiations take place,” says Dr. Bhonsle.

A we-centric person communicates to the partner that certain basic relationship needs aren’t being fulfilled — this open communication and mutual understanding goes a long way in building stronger relationships. “One should know when and what to negotiate and when to simply let go and ignore. Many times people are confused with the terms ‘good times’ and a ‘good life’. A successful pursuit of endless good times is something that can never really exist, and can only result in inevitable sadness and disappointment of unfulfilled expectations,” says Dr. Bhonsle

Psychiatrist Dr Parul Tank says that there are cases where people are attracted to two people, and are even in two relationships at the same time. “People look for certain qualities in their partner and may find those qualities in two different partners. It may also be if one is seeking thrill or is bored with their current partner. Many times people have virtuals attractions — I have seen clients who are happily married but attracted to other people on the Internet. When this happens, it depends on how comfortable the person is in juggling the relationships and balancing a fine line of commitment,” she says. “It also depends on the degree of attraction, and whether the person can distance himself or herself if the need arises. Usually balancing two relationships often creates an emotional conflict leading to feelings of guilt, shame and anxiety in the individual,” says Dr. Tank.

You can:
* Break the fixation and give up your self-centeredness.
* Learn how to care about and be sincerely dedicated to the satisfaction of another.
* Become a sensitive listener, who hears what is said and some things that are not able to be said. * Postpone personal gratification to meet the needs of another. Get in touch with your deepest feelings and most hidden thoughts. * Share your most vulnerable self as an act of love.
* Get honest feedback from someone who really knows you through your own self-disclosure.
* Work at the delicate art of communication and shared decision-making.

Courtesy ToI

A younger, smarter wife secret to a happy marriage

2009-10-30T09:06:00.000-07:00

Guess what's the secret to a happy marriage? Find a smart woman at least five years younger who has not been hitched before, says a new study.

Researchers at Bath University have found that couples with the best chance of a happy marriage are those in which a woman with a superior education marries a man who is five or more years older than herself.

In their study, the researchers analysed interviews with 1,534 Swiss couples who were either married or in a very serious relationship. Five years later they followed up 1,074 of the couples to see which had separated.

From this analysis, the researchers were able to tease out the factors that create a dream marriage -- and those that doom a romance to failure.

With age, they found that if the wife is five or more years older than her husband, they are more than three times as likely to divorce than if they were the same age. Couples in which the husband is the elder by at least five years are least likely to part.

A good education boosts a couple's chances of staying together, and the future is particularly bright if the wife has the most studying under her belt. Analysis of the data also showed the most stable couples were those who have never divorced, the 'Daily Mail' reported.

Courtesy Zee

MAHTAB BASHIR

0333 53 63 248

BREAKTHROUGH: They came, they dined & they left...

2009-10-29T06:39:00.000-07:00

When asked to sum up the dialogue and its outcome, one of the participants said, “We only raped the talks, producing nothing. We met, dined and left,” he said.

One of the leading newspaper quoted this in its issue published Wed, October 28, 2009

MAHTAB BASHIR
0333 53 63 248

FORGOTTEN LESSON OF HISTORY

2009-10-22T08:25:00.000-07:00

By Roedad Khan

On Saturday last, the army launched an operation, code-named Rah-i-Nijat against Mehsud strongholds in South Waziristan. "Both air and ground troops are taking part", Major General Athar Abbas, Chief of the Inter-Services Public Relation told the journalists. Earlier Army Chief General Kayani briefed the political leadership on the "imperative" of the operation against the Mehsuds. The die is cast. An invisible Rubicon crossed.

With this operation Pakistan is launched on the path to a protracted, inconclusive war in the mountains of Waziristan. The decision to commit our forces to such a war is, in my view, a tragic error. Waziristan may not be Vietnam but it has its own river of history that General Kayani is now stepping into.

Once again, there is a dry wind blowing throughout Waziristan and parched grasses wait the spark. Now that the match is lit, the blaze may spread like wildfire throughout the tribal area. Talking about Waziristan, a Mehsud tribesman told a missionary doctor at Bannu: "When God created the world there were a lot of stones and rocks and other lumber left over which were all dumped down on this frontier".

In the early 1900s, a crusty British general, Andrew Skeen, wrote a guide to military operation in Waziristan. His first piece of advice: "When planning a military expedition into Pashtun tribal areas, the first thing you must plan is your retreat. All expeditions into this area sooner or later end in retreat under fire".

The British decision to send troops into the Khaisora valley in November 1936 which transformed Ipi's agitation into a full scale uprising almost over night and set Waziristan on fire which lasted until after 1947. The British failed to capture Ipi and the campaign had to be called off. The judgment displayed by the British and the poor intelligence upon which they based their decisions were chiefly to blame for the disasters that followed. This was the last major rebellion in Waziristan which stemmed from an abrupt change of policy.

The tribesmen's unrivalled fighting record, their ability to intervene in Afghan affairs and to involve Afghans in their own affairs, were factors ignored by the British that made Waziristan different from other Frontier areas. This disastrous attempt to "pacify" Waziristan was the last of several major incursions into tribal territory during the hundred years of Britain's presence in Northwest India. On each occasion the tribes and the mountains won a strategic victory, despite local tactical reverses, and the bulk of the Indian troops were forced to withdraw back into the plains of the Indus valley. The British soon learned that you can annex land but not people.

When the British left, Pakistan had reason to be glad that it had inherited a secure North West Frontier. In September 1947, Mr. Jinnah took a bold decision to reverse the "pacification" policy, withdrew regular troops from Waziristan and entered into new agreements with the tribes. Cunningham, the new governor of NWFP, appointed by Mr Jinnah was a Frontier expert. His disillusion with the "pacification" policy was complete. "I think that we must now face a complete change of policy. Razmak has been occupied by regular troops for nearly 25 years. Wana for a few years less. The occupation of Waziristan has been a failure. It has not achieved peace or any appreciable economic development. It ties up an unreasonably large number of troops, and for the last 10 years there have been frequent major and minor offenses against the troops." The change in policy produced dramatic results and paid rich dividends.

All this has now changed. Mr Jinnah's Waziristan policy which had stood the test of time has been reversed. Our troops are back in Waziristan. Some time back, the commander of the US led troops in Afghanistan, Lieutenant General David Borno, let the cat out of the bag when he said that US and Pakistani forces were working together like "hammer and anvil" to trap Osama and Al Qaeda forces along the border".

Those who know the Frontier are deeply concerned. The Pakistan government is playing with fire. By reversing Mr Jinnah's Waziristan policy, at the behest of Americans, it has alienated powerful tribes in Waziristan and unsettled our western border which had remained peaceful for 62 years since the birth of Pakistan.

The nation is beginning to see the rapidly unfurling consequences of General Musharraf's fateful decision to join the "coalition of the coerced". America's dreaded war on terror has indisputably arrived on Pakistan's soil. Pakistan is slipping into anarchy and stands on the brink of civil war. A perfect storm is looming on the horizon.

We have stumbled into a war that we cannot fight and win for the simple reason that we don't seem to realize what guerrilla war is like. We are sending conventional troops to do an unconventional job. I can foresee a perilous voyage. The war in Waziristan cannot be won because it is perceived as the white man's war. It could be won only if perceived by the powerful tribes as Pakistan's own war. That, unfortunately, is not how they perceive this war. The conflict will, no doubt, be long and protracted. We will suffer more because not even a great power can beat guerrillas. The enemy cannot be seen: he is indigenous to the country. My fear is that we will get bogged down.

War against our own people is too terrible a thing to resort to. Many questions spring to mind. Was the decision to go to war determined by the absence of other viable options? Why was it not debated in parliament? Why deploy military means in pursuit of an indeterminate and primarily political end? Was there a geopolitical imperative to resort to war in Waziristan? Aren't we Pakistanising the American war on our soil? We must also recognize the limitations of modern, high technology, military equipment in confronting highly motivated guerrilla movement in a treacherous terrain.

We must also recognize that the consequences of large-scale military operations – against our own people – particularly in this age of highly sophisticated and destructive weapons – are inherently difficult to predict and control. Therefore, they must be avoided, excepting only when our nation's security is clearly and directly threatened. These are the lessons of history. Pray God we learn them. But as George Bernard Shaw said: "We learn from history that we learn nothing from history."

The writer is a former federal secretary.

Courtesy The News

MAHTAB BASHIR

0333 53 63 248

THE BOSTON BRAHMIN

2009-10-22T08:37:00.000-07:00

By Anjum Niaz

Since all the worthy columnists have exhausted the KLB, the new name for the Kerry-Lugar Bill, I have nothing remarkable to add to their sound and fury. Let's instead turn to a small housekeeping matter like: is Foreign Minister Qureshi's son working for Senator Kerry? Zain H Qureshi's (ZHQ) business card is circulating the cyberspace these days. It says that he is a legislative fellow in Kerry's Washington DC office. When I called up Kerry's office and asked for Qureshi, the voice at the other end immediately said, "He does not work for us". The woman appeared primed for such a question. She said she had received a similar query earlier that day. Incidentally the cell number on ZHQ's call card has been disconnected; while the mail box belonging to "Zain Qureshi" was "full!" So, I couldn't get to him.

After a number of phone calls to Senator Kerry's office, I finally found out from one of Kerry's male staffers that ZHQ did indeed work for Kerry but had now left. Why has ZHQ gone into hiding? Did he do something wrong? Yes. And the Foreign Office finds itself between a rock and a hard place. How can it condone its boss's act of getting his son a job with Kerry when the KLB talks were at a critical stage? Even if fate smiles upon ZHQ because he's the favoured son of our foreign minister and the doors of the high and mighty in Washington open up for him, we have the right to know whenever the son's job compromises his dad's position. More importantly if it is in direct conflict with Pakistan's interests.

Would you not call this a conflict of interest? Should the foreign minister resign? And if Zardari cannot afford to let him go, then the FM must seek a public apology.

The Boston Brahmin, Senator Kerry is complicit in this act. Boston Brahmins are New England's aristocracy like the Makhdooms of Multan, i.e. Shah Mahmood Qureshi and his tribe. These guys claim to fame is blue-blooded ancestry, wealth, influence and the right to rule. He said the following during his 2004 presidential campaign: "There's a great passage in the Bible that says, 'What does it mean, my brother, to say you have faith if there are no deeds? Faith without works is dead.' And I think everything you do in public life has to be guided by your faith, affected by your faith . That's why I fight for equality and justice. All of those things come out of that fundamental teaching and belief of faith."

Senator Kerry must practice what he preaches. Would he have given ZHQ the time of the day had the young man not been the son of Pakistan's foreign minister?

Why do the good folks fighting Pakistan's case in Washington DC become the usual suspects? In Musharraf's time it was Dr Nasim Ashraf. One wondered whether the Maryland-based millionaire doctor's heart bled for Pakistan or for Musharraf or for himself. Today, Ambassador Husain Haqqani is under fire from certain Pakistani quarters who accuse him of working for Washington and not Islamabad. Haqqani is hitting back via email messages to anyone wondering what's cooking in Washington. Yours truly is one of the unlucky recipients. Surely our ambassador must have known that his boss's son was working for Kerry. Good counselling from Haqqani to Qureshi would perhaps have saved the latter the embarrassment he is facing today?

Another glaring example of how the Democrats are enticing the Pakistani leaders is the recent banner headline: "Zardari far ahead in popularity." According to Democracy International, an affiliate of the Democratic Party of America, Zardari is ahead of Nawaz Sharif in the popularity contest. To anyone with an iota of intelligence, the timing of this screamer is suspect. What has Zardari achieved in recent days for "51 per cent" of Pakistanis to suddenly fall in love with him? His jiyalas, one fears, would declare October 1, the day the survey was announced, as the President's Day – the day of the great revelation. Declaring it a public holiday perhaps?

And when the polls go against the sitting president, these foreign busybodies are kicked out of Pakistan. Gen Musharraf asked IRI (the International Republican Institute), an affiliate of the Republican Party to wind up their office in Pakistan and leave when he got bad ratings from them. Not sure if indeed it was IRI that offended Musharraf, I called up their office in Washington. "What is your column about?" asked Lisa (I couldn't catch her last name) from the press section. I told her politely that it was not possible for me to provide her details of my column. "If you can't tell me what your column is about then I can't help you," she replied sternly. This is just a small example of how Masonic these polling outfits are. They think they have the writ to go around Pakistan poking their noses into our affairs, but when it comes to asking a simple question like if Musharraf asked them to wind up their office in 2008, they get so cagey.

Sadly, the epicentre of our knowledge is the received wisdom from such dodgy polls conducted by Democracy International and the International Republican Institute (IRI). Hey, where's Gallup Pakistan? Have we become so incompetent or doped that we can't even conduct popularity polls in our own country and must therefore rely on America?

We are the opium-eaters. We swallow whatever comes from Washington. While the Democrats tell us that Pakistanis love Zardari because of KLB, the Republicans via their polling affiliate the IRI sing a different tune. Their August polls conclude that "Pakistanis continue to hold onto the opinion that conditions in the country are problematic and President Zardari is perceived as being responsible." If this does not sound confusing enough to an ordinary Pakistani trying to work out the popularity ratings of Zardari and Nawaz Sharif, have another go. According to September 9 report in the Christian Science Monitor, "Zardari's popularity sags - will it undermine Pakistan's fight with Taliban?"

Here's another twister from the Los Angeles Times. The headline reads: "Zardari at fault for low rating?" This gem was published on August 31. "Pakistan President Asif Ali Zardari is aware that his popularity has sunk to new lows at a time when his arch rival Nawaz Sharif -- who heads the Pakistan Muslim League (Nawaz) -- is boasting high popularity, a media report said. He is widely viewed in Pakistani society not as a helmsman, but a bystander. It's an image that is largely of Zardari's own making, say analysts who contend that he has failed to forge any kind of connection with the Pakistani public.Last but not the least is the recent poll by the Pew Research Centre, a Washington-based institute, which says that "less than a third of Pakistanis have a favourable opinion of Mr Zardari. The president was widely reviled after being accused of demanding kickbacks while he served in Benazir Bhutto's Cabinet in the late 1980s and again starting in 1993."

Give us a break! If by now we don't get it that the US is using these polls as a weapon for manipulation of third world dictators (Gen Musharraf) and corrupt rulers then Pakistan, I'm afraid to say, is going down the tube fast.

Conflict of interest, eh? Here's yet one more example. Do you know how many Pakistani parliamentarians and cabinet ministers hold foreign nationalities, including our president?

The writer is a freelance journalist with over twenty years of experience in national and international reporting

Courtesy The News

MAHTAB BASHIR

0333 5363248

BAYAZID BISTAMI (RA) & THE 500 HERMITS

2009-10-22T08:51:00.000-07:00

By Dr A Q Khan

God has created us in different tribes with different shapes, colours culture, taste and habits. Even our preference for literature varies from person to person. Personally, I have always been fond of reading books on Islamic history, Urdu literature, (auto)biographies and scientific books. I read, with great interest, books on Urdu poetry, Nasim Hijazi, Al-Farooq, Road to Mecca, Ghubar-e-Khatir, Urdu ki Aakhri Kitab, Ibn Batuta's Travelogue, Tazkiratul Aoulia, etc. The latter is extremely interesting, with detailed biographies of 96 auliya with special emphasis on their spiritual powers.

Tazkiratul Aulia was compiled by Hazrat Fariduddin Attar who himself was recognised as a sage. The book was written almost 800 years ago. Attar was born in 513 Hijra at Neshapur and was martyred there in 627 Hijra by a Tatar soldier.

The book contains the biography of Hazrat Bayazid Bastami (RA) who was recognised as a great sage (wali) of his time. One important story about Bastami (RA) which is not mentioned in Attar's book is given in that of Ruhaniat-e-Islam written by Maulana Alhaj Captain Wahid Baksh Sayyal (Al-Faisal Publishers/Traders, Lahore). I am reproducing the said story from the book because I am convinced many readers will find it interesting and informative. Since I did not have any contact details of Captain Wahid, I could not contact him about this, but I sincerely hope he has no objections to this. I would like to express my gratitude to Prof Ghazali for his assistance and translation."

Once on a journey, while enjoying the solitude and deeply immersed in reflection and remembrance of Allah, he heard a voice in his heart saying: 'O Bayazid! Go to Dayr Saman and join the Christians in their festivity and worship; a spectacular event will take place'. He recited aa'uzubillah and told himself: 'I will not let this suggestion cross my mind again.' That night he heard the same inner voice. When he woke, he was shivering. He started wondering whether or not he should obey this command. He then heard the inner voice saying: 'Don't be afraid! You are among the best auliya and your name is written in the scroll of the virtuous ones. Put on the dress of the hermits and there will be no blame or sin on you.'"

Early the next morning he put on the Christian hermit's dress and went to Dayr Saman. It was the day of their festivity and hermits were congregating from all over to listen to the sermon of their chief. He took a seat among them. When the chief took the pulpit, everyone was silent. He tried to speak but the pulpit started shaking and he could not say anything. The hermits asked him what prevented him from speaking. He told them that a 'Mohammadan' had come in their midst to test their faith and this had prevented him from speaking. 'Show us that person and we will kill him instantly', they responded to which he said 'don't kill him'. 'I will test him by putting some questions about theology to him. If he answers them all correctly, we will spare him. Otherwise we will kill him'. 'As you wish; we are all your followers', they replied. Thereupon the chief called out from the pulpit: 'O Mohammadan, I give you oath by Mohammad to stand up so that everyone could recognise you'. Bastami stood up. 'Ask whatever you want of rational or traditional matters', he replied. 'Allah is a witness between us'."

The chief then went on to ask: 'Tell us who is the one who has no second; what are the two that have no third; what are the three that have no fourth… what are the thirteen that have no fourteenth? Tell us who are the people who tell lies and enter paradise and the people who tell the truth and enter hell? Tell us which part of your body is the resting place of your name? What are the winds that scatter dust, the clouds that bear heavy weights of water, the ships that float with ease and the angels that distribute provisions by Allah's command? What is that which is dead and yet it breathes? Who are the fourteen who spoke with the Lord of the Worlds? Which was the grave that moved with the buried one? Which is the water that neither fell from the sky nor gushed out from the earth? Who are the four who were born without parents? Whose is the first blood that was shed on earth? What is it that was created by God; then purchased by him? What was created by God and then disliked by him? What was it God created and then expressed its gravity? What was it God created and then asked Himself what it was? Who are the best women in the world? Which rivers are the best in the world; the best mountain; the best animal; the best month of the year; the best night? What is the catastrophe (Tammah)? Which tree has twelve branches with each of them having thirty leaves; each leaf having five flowers, two of which are in the sun and three in the shade? What is it that performed the Pilgrimage of Baitullah (House of Allah) and performed Tawaf, but it has neither life nor is pilgrimage obligatory upon it? How many prophets were created by Allah and how many of them are fully-fledged messengers? What are the four things with different tastes and colours having one root? What is naqeer, qitmeer, fateel, sabad, labad, Tam and Ram? What does the dog say when it barks; the donkey when it brays? What do an ox, a horse, a camel, a peacock, a nightingale and a frog say? When the bell rings, what does it say? Who are the people to whom Allah sent a revelation, but they are neither jinn nor men nor angels? When the day dawns, where does the night go and when the night falls, where does the day go?'"

After this Bastami said: 'If you have any more questions, ask them now'. The chief replied: 'No more questions". Bastami then asked the chief: 'If I answer all these questions to your satisfaction, will you believe in Allah and His Messenger (PBUH)'. 'Yes, indeed', all of them replied. He then said: 'O Allah! You are witness to this statement of theirs'. "

Thereafter Bastami replied as follows: 'The one who has no second is Allah, the only One who is all-powerful. The two that have no third are the day and the night, for Allah says: 'We have appointed the night and the day as two signs'. (17:12)

The three that have no fourth are the throne (arsh), chair (kursi) and pen (qalam). The four that have no fifth are the four major Divine Books – the Torah, the Bible, the Zabur and the Holy Quran. The five that have no sixth are the five obligatory prayers.

The six that have no seventh are the six days in which Allah created the heavens and the earth, for Allah says: 'Indeed we created the heavens and the earth and all between them in six days'. (50:38) The seven that have no eighth are the seven heavens, for Allah says: '… seven heavens, one above the other'. (67:3)

The eight that have no ninth are the eight angels who are the bearers of the Divine Throne, for Allah says: '… and eight angels will, that day, bear the Throne of Your Lord'. (69:17)"

The nine that have no tenth are the nine mischief-makers of Bani Israel, for Allah says: "….and there were in the city nine men who made mischief in the land and would not reform" (27:48).

The ten that have no eleventh are the ten days of fasting prescribed for one who is performing the Pilgrimage of Tamatu (one of the three procedures of pilgrimage), but who cannot afford to sacrifice an animal, for Allah says: "...(but if he cannot afford it), he should fast for three days during the pilgrimage and seven days after his return, making ten days in all." (2:196)

The eleven that have no twelfth are the Prophet Yusuf and his brothers, for Allah says: "…indeed I saw eleven stars." (12:4)The twelve that have no thirteenth are the twelve months of the years, for Allah says: "Verily, the number of months with Allah is twelve; so was ordained by Allah." (9:36)

The thirteen that have no fourteenth are what is mentioned in Yusuf's dream, for Allah says: "...verily I saw eleven starts and the sun and the moon prostrating themselves to me." (12:4)The people who lied but went to heaven were the brothers of Yusuf who said: "O our father! We went racing with one another and left Yusuf by our belongings and a wolf devoured him." (12:17) Yet Allah forgave them their sins.

The people who told the truth, yet they will go to hell are the Jews and the Christians, as Allah says: "The Jews said that the Christians follow nothing and the Christians said that the Jews follow nothing." (2:113) Each is right in rejecting the authenticity of the other's religion, yet both will go to hell.My ears are the true resting place of my name.The winds that scatter dust are the winds that blow from the north, south, east and west. (51:1)

Hamelaat-e-wiqra are the clouds that bear heavy weights of water. (51:2) The ships that float with ease are those ships that sail the high seas. (51:3) The angels who distribute by Allah's command are those who distribute provisions from the fifteenth of Shaaban to the next fifteenth of Shaaban. (51:4)

That which is dead and yet breathes is the morning, for Allah says: "…and by the dawn as it breaths." (81:18)The fourteen who spoke with the Lord of the Worlds are seven heavens and seven earths, for Allah says: "...and said to them and to the earth: 'Come both of you willingly or unwillingly.' They both said: 'We come willingly." (41:11). The grave that moved with the buried one was the whale that swallowed Prophet Yunus.

The water that neither fell from the sky nor gushed from the earth is the sweat of the horses that was sent by Bilqees to the Prophet Sulaiman to test him.

The four born without parents are the sheep slaughtered in place of Prophet Ismail, the female camel of Prophet Salim, and Prophet Adam and his wife, Hawwa (Eve).

The first bloodshed on earth was that of Habeel (Abel) who was killed by his brother Qabeel (Cain). The thing created by Allah and then purchased by Him is the life of a true believer, for Allah says: "Indeed, Allah has purchased of the believers their lives and properties for the price that theirs shall be Paradise." (9:111).

The thing created by Allah and then disliked by Him is the braying of a donkey, for Allah says: "Indeed, the most unpleasant of all voices is the braying of asses." (31:19)The thing Allah created and then expressed its gravity is that plotted by women, for Allah says: "…certainly mighty is your plot." (12:28)

The thing Allah created and then asked Himself what it was is the staff of Prophet Musa, for Allah says: "…and what is that in your right hand?" (20:17)

The best women in the world are Hawwa, the mother of mankind, Khadija, Ayesha, Aasia and Maryam. May Allah be pleased with them all.

The best rivers in the world are the Oxus, Tigris, Euphrates and Nile; the best mountain is Tur; the best animal is the horse; the best month is Ramazan, for Allah says: "….the month of Ramazan in which was revealed the Quran" (2:185); the best night is Lailatul-Qadr, for Allah says: "...the night of Al-Qadr is better than one thousand months." (97:3).

The catastrophe (Tammah) is Doomsday.The tree with the twelve branches is the year; twelve branches for the months; thirty leaves for the days of every month; five flowers for the five daily prayers, two of which are offered in daylight and three while it is dark.

The lifeless thing that performed the Pilgrimage is the ship of Prophet Nuh.The total number of prophets is one hundred and twenty-four thousand, out of whom three hundred and thirteen are Messengers. The rest are non-messengers.

The four things with different tastes and colours but with a common root are the eyes, nose, mouth and ears. Their root is the brain. The water from the eyes is saltish; that of the mouth is sweet; that of the nose is sour and that of the eyes is bitter.

Naqeer is the speck on the back of a date stone as mentioned in the Quran (4:124). Qitmeer is the thin membrane covering the date stone. (35:13)

Fateel is the thin white layer inside the date stone. (17:71). Sabad and labad are the names of the wool on the body of sheep.

Tam and Ram are the names of creations before the creation of the Prophet Adam.

When the dog barks it says: "Woe to the inmates of fire by the wrath of the All Powerful.

"When the donkey brays it looks at satan and says: "Curse be upon the devil that misguides."

The ox says: "Allah be glorified above all imperfections, and praise be for Him."The horse says: "Glorified be the One who protects me when brave men fight and men are engaged in fierce battle."The camel says: "Allah is enough for me and Allah is sufficient as my Protector."The peacock says: "The most gracious rose over the mighty throne." (20:5)

The nightingale says: "Glorify Allah when you come up to the evening and when you enter the morning." (30:17)

The frog says: "Glorified be the Lord who is worshipped in the populated as well as the deserted places and glorified be the All Powerful King."

When the bell rings it says: "Glorified be Allah; truly, truly observe, O son of Adam; in this world westwards and eastwards, you will not find anyone surviving here."

Allah sent revelation to the bees, for He says: "Take you habitations in the mountains and in the trees and in what they erect." (16.68)

When the day dawns, the night goes to the other side of the Earth (due to the earth's rotation on its axis) and when the night falls, day goes to the other side, which cannot be altered by any prophet or angel (save by His own will).

After having said all this, Hazrat Bayazid asked them: "Are any of your questions still unanswered?" To which they replied: "No, you have correctly answered all the questions."

Then Bastami asked the Chief to answer only one question: "What is the key to Paradise?" The Chief declared that the key is: "La IlahaIllallah, Muhammad'ur-Rasulullah."

The rest of them repeated the Kalimah in unison. They immediately took off their hermit's robes and embraced Islam.

Courtsy The News

Mahtab Bashir- 0333-5363248

SUCH IS LIFE

2008-05-25T03:39:00.000-07:00

By MUHAMMAD MAHTAB BASHIR
ISLAMABAD
mahtabbashir@yahoo.com

One moment in life, you have shortage, the next you have excess. One day you have twenty four hours of leisure, the next you don’t have time to get it all done. One day the refrigerator is empty and you are hungry, the next day you have a half eaten meal in front of you and you are stuffed. One month you have a lot of money to spare and you wonder what to buy, the next you don’t have enough to buy a chewing gum. One day you are the centre of attraction, the next you wonder if anyone knows you are alive. This is what we call the “waves of life”.

The spiral waves of life carry us up and down and all around. Money, friends, relationships, your job, your body all vary with the passage of time. They all walk off in waves. You might get attracted to what is on the tube, what is on the web-portals or what is on the advertisement hoardings, but it’s only a wave, after a while the thrill is gone.

I have always fancied that if money and worldly things brought happiness in life, then why on this earth every rich person is not happy? I can comfortably assess how poverty may cause unhappiness but I am deluded into believing that money solves every problem. Life is full of uncertainty and a bundle of small things that matter a lot. I would not trade my life with anyone’s, as it is one of the most blessed things that I have, but still, it’s full of stuff: one thing after another, one challenge after another, one situation after another, day by day… its going and going. These are the waves of life and there’s no stopping them from the outside. You can only calm the inside so that like a submarine, you ride beneath the waves. Though a squall may be raging, but you are at ease and peace.

These waves of life have their own way of playing with people, from person to person. Most of us are tossed and turned by the cruel onslaught of waves. Some ride deep beneath the daily storms in tranquility. Others simply surf the waves and enjoy the thrill, though sometimes drown. No one can prevent these waves; it’s the nature of the ocean of life. You can only take the preventive measures but not to defy those nasty actions of waves of life. There’s no gainsaying that life is volatile. We, as a human being, never know which way the wind is going to blow, our predictions are flawed, but we have a firm believe that luck favours the brave and opportunity smiles on those who dare. The only defensive measure we can take is to adjust our sails in the right directions. We can do it by using our brainwaves. Just keep your head cool, look around you, trust in God and never lose hope; everything belongs to you.

MUHAMMAD MAHTAB BASHIR
House # 2026, Street # 32,
I-10/2, ISLAMABAD.
Cell: 0333 53 63 248
mahtabbashir@yahoo.com

Kerry-Lugar Bill: Can It Bridge the Trust Deficit?

2009-10-09T05:13:00.000-07:00

The debate over the US $7.5 billion (over five years) Kerry-Lugar Bill - The Enhanced Partnership with Pakistan Act - passed by the U.S. Senate late September seems to have have generated great confusion, bemusement, anger and frustration. Sometimes, all at the same time.

Pakistan Army considers the Bill to be an “insult,” that Pakistan’s Prime Minister sees it as a “big success for democracy,” that India is “upset” about it, and that U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is chiding the Bill’s critics to “read the Bill first.” Even as the entrepreneurial classes in both Washington and Islamabad dream up big plans and salivate at impending windfalls, it is difficult to tell whether it is the political pundits in Washington who feel more insulted or the political pundits in Islamabad. Suffice to say, both are seething with anger, even when it is not at all clear why.

The Kerry-Lugar Bill is a five year commitment for up to US $7.5 Billion for developmental assistance, with up to US $ 1.5 Billion available each of the next five years, which amounts to a tripling of the U.S. civilian assistance to Pakistan. Responding to what has been a call of many Pakistanis over many years, it directs this assistance towards civilian, and especially infrastructure, uses and not towards military aid. It also tries to respond to the fears about corruption by the bureaucracy and politicians by asking for strong oversight over use and effectiveness.

So, what is there not to like about the Kerry-Lugar Bill? Speak to the Bill’s proponents in Washington and they will ask you: “Isn’t this exactly what you guys have been asking for all along? More money. Money for civilian development projects. Money that will be accounted for and used properly. So, why aren’t you all dancing in the streets and hugging us in gratitude?” Many Americans are clearly feeling insulted because what they see as a case of their generosity not being appreciated.

For its critics the answer is straight-forward and can be summarized in one word: conditionality. The critic’s wrath is not really about what the Kerry-Lugar Bill promises; it is about what the Kerry-Lugar Bill demands. Call it concerns about sovereignty, about imperialism, about national pride, or whatever else, but many Pakistanis are clearly feeling insulted because they think they have been presented with a ‘bill of demands’ and being asked to sell out cheap.

One can dissect things deep in search of hidden meanings and clues. Too many people are already doing that and it really does not help. The problem is deep. But it is not hidden.

The debate we are now seeing is one more manifestation of the deep deficits of trust that have marked all US-Pakistan relations. In the absence of trust, Pakistanis - even those who might otherwise support this Bill - simply refuse to accept that America could possibly be interested in Pakistan’s interests. For the very same reasons, Americans - even those who strongly wish to see a stronger Pakistan - simply refuse to acknowledge the intensity with which Pakistan has always sought “friends, not masters.”

The fact of the matter is that if the U.S. had any trust whatsoever in the Pakistani state or the Pakistani people, this Bill would not have been crafted in the language it is. By the same token, if Pakistanis had any trust whatsoever in the United States their reaction would not have been what it is even if the Bill were written as it is. The US-Pakistan relationship is a most reluctant international relationship. The Kerry-Lugar Bill is a good example of this. Here is support that the Americans would much rather never have been ‘made’ to give to Pakistan. Here is support that Pakistanis would much rather never have been ‘made’ to accept.

And herein lies the real problem of Pakistan-US relations. Neither trusts the other. Each can give many reasons - and some of them, in each case, are very valid - why, but that matters little. The result is a tainted and reluctant relationship.

When I visit Pakistan, I am often asked: “What do Americans think of Pakistan?” In USA, I am often asked “What do Pakistanis think of America?” The answer to both questions is exactly the same: “They think of you exactly what you think of them. They don’t really like you, they certainly don’t trust you, but right now they think they need you.”

It is no surprise, then, that there is no US-Pakistan ‘relationship’; there are only US-Pakistan transactions.

Here is a Bill that should have been, and still could be, used as a means to build that trust. The trust without which this relationship will forever be tainted, reluctant and prone to constant frustration. If the two sides (and it really is about what both sides do) continue to look at this as a transactional episode - of services provided and paid for - then five years from now Americans will find themselves asking what the point of spending (’wasting’) all this money was, and Pakistanis would be heard questioning whether they would have been better off never having accepted this largess. Both have been there before and both are likely to end up being there again.

On the other hand, if - and this is as big an ‘if’ as you will ever find in international relations - the two sides really do get past the ugliness in the discourse right now and use this opportunity to move from transactions to a relationship then, as Humphery Bogart said in the movie Casablanca, this could well become “the start of a beautiful friendship.”

But for that to happen, too many things would first have to change in both Islamabad and Washington. At this point, unfortunately, it is not clear at all that either is interested, or capable, of those changes.

Courtesy Adil Najam

.... And here's why men have sex

2009-09-26T07:01:00.000-07:00

READING the list of reasons why women sleep with men, David Thomas wondered: Don't they ever do it because they like us?Does desire mean anything to women? Because it certainly does to men.

In our youth, desire can be indiscriminate. A young man's relationship with his sex drive is like a dog-walker's with an ill-disciplined dog: he is led from pillar to post without hope of discipline or control. Some men, no matter how old they are, will never stop chasing women for sex.

But for most of us it's different. We've realised that girls, instead of being the pointless, silly creatures we took them for, are the most amazing, fascinating, desirable creatures on the planet.

They can make your heart soar with a glance, and crush your spirit with a sneer.

Women don't have to do anything to hold men in their power. Just existing is enough.

Why else would men have written countless poems and love songs? Why else would they have painted them, sculpted them, gone to war for them?

It's men, not women, who are the true romantics. We want sex because it feels great, reinforces our self-worth and, for us, physical intimacy is the proof and expression of emotional intimacy: to be denied sex is to be cast out.

This makes sex as frightening as it is intoxicating.

We hate to admit it, but we are dependent on women and worry about our ability to satisfy them.

In this Sex And The City age, we fear that every act of love will be analysed over cocktails like a premiership game on Match Of The Day.

Over time, lust and capacity fade. So sometimes we have sex just to prove we can. But most of all, ladies, we want sex because we love you.

themercury

Women really can't keep a secret: TONGUES START WAGGING AFTER JUST 47 HOURS

2009-09-26T06:51:00.000-07:00

Ever wondered how long a woman can keep a secret? Well the answer, it seems, is less than two days.

Researchers found that they will typically spill the beans to someone else in 47 hours and 15 minutes.

A study of 3,000 women aged between 18 and 65 also found that four in ten were unable to keep a secret, no matter how personal or confidential the news was.

More than half admitted that alcohol could prompt them to dish the dirt. Boyfriends, husbands, best friends and mothers were most likely to be initial recipients of the information.

Michael Cox, UK Director of Wines of Chile which commissioned the research said: 'It's official - women can't keep secrets.

'We were really keen to find out with this survey how many secrets people are told. What we didn't bank on was how quickly these are passed on by those we confide in. 'No matter how precious the piece of information, it's often out in the public domain within 48 hours.

'That means every single Brit who has confided in a friend should be worried because they don't know where their secret is heading.

'The fact they offload gossip to someone completely unrelated to the matter or in a different social group can be comforting, but while nine in ten girls deem themselves trustworthy - they still have spilt the beans.

'And juicy gossip can really flow after a couple of glasses of wine.'
The study found that the average woman hears three pieces of gossip each week, and will pass it on to at least one other person.

Three in ten 'have the urge' to reveal secrets, with nearly half telling another to 'simply get it off their chest'.

However, two thirds end up feeling guilty after spilling the beans. Three quarters claim they are capable of keeping quiet about a secret, and 83 per cent consider themselves 100 per cent trustworthy.

Yet more than four in ten think it is acceptable to share a friend's secret with someone who does not know them, with over 40 per cent saying their husband is their ultimate confidante.

Intimate issues, true cost of purchases and affairs emerged top of the secret-keeping list. Fortunately for some, 27 per cent said they forgot what they were told the following day. MAIL

BED SHARING 'BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH'

2009-09-26T06:44:00.000-07:00

Couples should consider sleeping apart for the good of their health and relationship, say experts.

Sleep specialist Dr Neil Stanley told the British Science Festival how bed sharing can cause rows over snoring and duvet-hogging and robs precious sleep.

One study found that, on average, couples suffered 50% more sleep disturbances if they shared a bed.

Dr Stanley, who sleeps separately from his wife, points out that historically we were never meant to share our beds.

He said the modern tradition of the marital bed only began with the industrial revolution, when people moving to overcrowded towns and cities found themselves short of living space.

Before the Victorian era it was not uncommon for married couples to sleep apart. In ancient Rome, the marital bed was a place for sexual congress but not for sleeping.

Dr Stanley, who set up one of Britain's leading sleep laboratories at the University of Surrey, said the people of today should consider doing the same.

"It's about what makes you happy. If you've been sleeping together and you both sleep perfectly well, then don't change, but don't be afraid to do something different.

"We all know what it's like to have a cuddle and then say 'I'm going to sleep now' and go to the opposite side of the bed. So why not just toddle off down the landing?"

Tossing and turning: He said poor sleep was linked to depression, heart disease, strokes, lung disorders, traffic and industrial accidents, and divorce, yet sleep was largely ignored as an important aspect of health.

Dr Robert Meadows, a sociologist at the University of Surrey, said: "People actually feel that they sleep better when they are with a partner but the evidence suggests otherwise."

He carried out a study to compare how well couples slept when they shared a bed versus sleeping separately.

Based on 40 couples, he found that when couples share a bed and one of them moves in his or her sleep, there is a 50% chance that their slumbering partner will be disturbed as a result.
Despite this, couples are reluctant to sleep apart, with only 8% of those in their 40s and 50s sleeping in separate rooms, the British Science Festival heard.

MSN

ARE YOU MISTAKING LUST FOR LOVE?

2009-09-17T12:01:00.000-07:00

In terms of mature relationships and love, most of the times, people fail to distinguish

Every Cinderella longs to find her Prince Charming and live happily ever after. We all want to fall in love. Why? Because that experience makes us feel completely alive. Our emotions get magnified, senses get heightened, and we are flying in seventh heaven. It may only last a moment, an hour, a day, but that doesn't diminish its value....

But are you sure it’s love that we are talking about?

Why do independent, smart women become emotional wrecks after a romantic break-up? Why do older men gravitate towards younger women? Could it be estrogen and testosterone hormones that addict us to our lovers? In terms of mature relationships and love, most of the times, people fail to distinguish between the true meaning of love and lust.

Have you ever been swept off your feet by a man/woman standing next to you in a queue? Is it merely infatuation, a strong shot of chemistry, or budding love - the real thing? Is Cupid playing a prank or bringing you true love forever?

Love at first sight is not believable. Love takes time. Lust at first sight sounds much more accurate. A study done by testing the blood samples of twenty couples, who claimed to be madly in love for less than six months, revealed that serotonin levels of new lovers were equivalent to the low serotonin levels of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder patients.

It's hard to tell if you are in love because there’re no set defining characteristics of love. The dictionary says it's "a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection" or "a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person." What exactly is this feeling or attraction?

The question evoked the thought process of Paramita Roy, a fashion designer; she was surprised that she had never thought of this aspect of her relationship before. After much silence she concluded, "Emotions are not sufficient to suggest whether a relationship is that of love, no matter how strong the attraction may be." Sadly, there is not much awareness to distinguish between lust and love and that is why we have so many emotional and social problems.

Since time immemorial we are hearing that love is blind. But that’s a mistake; real love is not blind. Quite the opposite, it is a relationship in full awareness. Over time, through good communication and wisdom, you can start knowing your partner. Gradually, you become aware of his/her flaws and try to work your differences in a healthy way.

Lust, on the other hand, could be perceived as being "blind" as it usually distorts reality, especially when you're so involved that you don’t care to find out the real persona of your partner. According to Shruti Bhatia, a psychologist, we often idolize our partners, magnify their virtues and find a way to explain their flaws. This basically happens because many movies, books and songs paint an unrealistic portrait of love, which further builds a false perception of love in our minds.

When Sameer Nagpal, a commercial pilot by profession, was asked whether his six-year-old relationship was based on love or lust, he was quick to reply, "Love is full of sacrifices, trust and respect whereas lust is built on physical attraction, fun and thrills. Real love is commitment. I cannot categorize my relationship as a short sensational affair of love is in the air."

Do some real soul searching today and identify your relationship. If you're in a relationship which does not have fondness, respect, affection, devotion along with passion, it would be wise to back off. Or else, one day those wonderful romantic feelings will be gone and you will wonder what happened to your perfect romance. Accept the fact that you or your partner is not ready for commitment. After all, commitment is a choice which is backed up with actions and maturity.

Courtesy ToI